The Swimming Lessons

Two summers ago (that would have made it '06 I believe) my parents decided that it was finally time for my brothers and I to take swimming lessons. Oh believe me, this was the absolute last thing I wanted to do...I liked getting in the water just for fun of course, but when it came to getting my head underwater or going in deep water of any kind, I was out. Plus the thought of taking lessons with a bunch of littler kids wasn't exactly too appealing. But there was no backing out so on the first day we headed out (hopefully not to my doom).

The first day wasn't so bad because our real teacher couldn't make it that day. So we had two guys who didn't make you do anything you didn't want to do and were pretty darn laid back. I knew that was too good to last....

The next day our real teacher showed up, and with it the beginning of everything I'd been dreading. Not only did he tell you to get your head wet, but if you didn't do it he'd throw you in the pool himself. Luckily I managed to avoid that by putting about half my face in the water and then splashing the rest of it that didn't go under when he wasn't looking. (Okay okay so I'm a cheater. =]). The rest of the day wasn't too bad, except for the end when we had to jump in the five feet section. I wasn't quite five feet at this time, so I was utterly terrified by the time it was my turn to jump in. (The guy probably thought I was hydrophobic or something). After a few seconds I absolutely had to do it because there was no way I was getting outdone by a bunch of little kids. Let me just tell you it was absolutely horrible. I started sinking like a stone so I started flailing and kicking around as hard as I could till I finally made it to the top. At this point I felt like giving my teacher a good old slug in the mouth. (I managed to refrain myself).

There were two other main things that got me about these lessons. The first was going into the 12 feet section. Sure we got to have some of those floaty things, but there was no way I was trusting something like that to transport me across the deep end without killing me. Soo first I tried staying as close as possible to the edge, but my teacher soon caught on to my plan and jerked me out right in the middle of the pool. By this time I was sure I was going to be sick, so I scrunched my eyes up and tried not to think about the fact that if I accidentally fell off this thing I would sink right down to the depths of what seemed like a bottomless pool....(no I didn't have too much faith in my teacher apparently. ehe).

After surviving this section, we had to do what I had most been dreading. Jump in the deep end. Now there was absolutely no way, under any circumstances, no matter if the rest of the kids were doing it, that I was going to jump in that thing. I might be okay swimming some in it (I actually could swim some now) but I repeat I was not (no way hose) jumping in. The teacher tried everything to convince me. He even tried to pull me in at one point but I managed to elude him at just the right moment (I was immune at this point to all his "tricks"). At this point my stomach started to cringe a little bit, so I decided to hope that that meant I had a stomach bug or something. I certainly couldn't jump in a pool if I was feeling sick could I? =] After milking up my symptoms a little bit (I'd do about anything to get out of jumping in) he finally agreed to just make me swim from the deep end to about the middle of the pool. I realized I couldn't be a chicken forever, so I hurriedly stuck my foot in and pushed off. I was so scared I hardly noticed I was scared (if that made any sense). By the time I had finished thrashing halfway across the pool (I'm sure it looked pretty comical) I was about to collapse and thought I was really going to be sick this time from having my face exposed to water so much. (Luckily that didn't happen).

Now (about 1 1/2 years later) I can actually swim pretty well I suppose. However, 1: You still will never see me hanging around in the deep end; 2: You won't see me going underwater or dunking myself or something; 3: If you ever see me jump in the deep end of a pool, you might as well look for the end of the world too....