Recital To End All Recitals

Okay so it really wasn't the recital to end all recitals. I just wanted to get your attention....;)

So anyways last Sunday I was absolutely determined not to be nervous. I mean what the heck it was just a recital. What would be the worst that could possibly happen? Well my throat might go dry, they might not let me use my piano music and I'd get up there, botch it up, and run crying off the stage, I might embarrass my teachers, my family, and myself for the rest of our natural lives, and they might broadcast all of this for the whole county to see on a local channel...Right what could possibly go wrong?....I tried to keep my thoughts away from this downward spiral and focus on just relaxing. I was sitting in church at the moment and desparately tried to focus only on what was going on around me (much easier said than done I'll give you that). Well as the service slowly neared to a close, my head started buzzing, my throat suddenly began to tighten up, and I started feeling rather ill to say the least. I just hoped I wasn't about to have a panic attack, because then I might end up passing out. Yep that is the last thing I would need to happen....Well I didn't pass out, and I made it out of the service unscathed.....

As we made our way to the recital a few hours later, my heart was pumping so hard I thought it would jump right out of my chest. When we got inside I felt literally downright sick. When I got backstage I was so nervous I didn't even know I was nervous (if that made any sense). As I sat down my fingers started tingling, a sure sign of nerves. I took a deep breath and attempted to get a hold of myself. For crying out loud it was just one recital. If I could make it through the others, and if all the other kids could make it through it, then I sure could.

I managed to stay pretty much relaxed while the kids before me were playing by just not thinking. And of course I tried to comfort myself by realizing that they were going to let me use my piano music. So it was just a matter of forcing my fingers to do as they were told. Well pretty soon it was my turn and I headed out there. When all the people started clapping I almost said, "You all had better save your applause cause I'm not sure you'll be feeling that way after I'm done...." I didn't say that but I was thinking it.....Well I got up there, took a deep breath, and started to play. Then the strangest thing happened. I actually relaxed. My fingers actually did what they were supposed to do. And (believe it or not) I actually started to enjoy myself up there. I was actually sad when the song ended. I think an alien inhabited my body at that point in time or something. Don't ask me why but it was pretty darn wierd.....haha. After that I was hardly nervous at all doing my voice piece (it's always much easier for me to sing in public than to play piano) and it went great too. So there you have it. Me getting all nervous for absolutely nothing. Oh well. Even though it went well all I have to say is THANK GOODNESS IT'S OVER

Later