This year has been crazy. Bad things have happened, good things have happened, and a lot of things have happened in between....Here are some of the more memorable things about this year/events that have stood out to me....
*I MOVED
*I started senior year. Scariness.
*A few relationships close to me fell through the cracks, but then I found new, stronger relationships aftewards. I can't imagine life without some of the people I have met this year...
*I found a youth group I love and can feel comfortable in.
*I discovered that it is possible to live without chocolate ice cream.
*I got a new voice teacher and already performed twice this semester (yes I was terrified).
*I searched for a job and failed miserably.
*I lost my wonderful, amazing-beyond-words grandmother to breast cancer 11/20.
*I struggled to deal with change.
*I decided on an amazing college.
*I finally got to see New Moon and it was freaking AWESOME.
*I discovered that, only sometimes, what you think sucks and is bad for you turns out to be just what you need...
There's a lot more, but I have to stop somewhere, right? =]
I have high hopes for 2010, and I hope it can live up to them....
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Why I Can't Wait 'Til November....
First of all, my birthday happens to be on November 15th. Even though I'm going to be pretty old (17 is really getting on up there) I still am just as excited over my birthday as a little kid (I mean who doesn't enjoy having a day where everyone is incredibly nice to them, gives them presents, and cooks amazing food for them?). I am really really excited, and I think it's gonna be AWESOME (not to mention I'll only be one year away from being a legal adult. How scary is that?!).
Second of all, college basketball season finally starts! Okay okay I know you're thinking I'm an obssessed fan (if you haven't yet figured out which college team I'm a fan of after reading all my many posts about them and seeing my profile picture then you probably need medical assistance) but I just can't help being excited. Especially seeing as how they've got really top players this year and a new coach. Plus I'm hoping to prove my extremely negative brother (who happens to be a *gasp* UNC fan) wrong. He claims they're going to be just as terrible as they were in previous years (okay okay yes they were terrible just recently) while I'm hoping he's going to get a big dose of reality and realize that UK's losing days are over. (At least they'd better be or I'm suing somebody after all this hype over their season.) So yeah this season should be very interesting. ;)
Last (but most definitely not least) the second Twilight movie (New Moon) comes out!!! It's coming out only five days after my birthday, so I'm going to go with a friend or friends to see it as kind of a birthday thing. I am going to be so hyper and so excited that you probably wouldn't recognize me if you saw me at the theater. (I normally don't go nuts over movies.) But hey, if you can't go nuts occasionally what's the point of life? I also thought I'd post the newest trailer (just because I can't help myself and because it looks freaking amazing.) So yep here it is. Less than a month to go (thank goodness!). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs79_5n848Q
That's it for now. ;)
Second of all, college basketball season finally starts! Okay okay I know you're thinking I'm an obssessed fan (if you haven't yet figured out which college team I'm a fan of after reading all my many posts about them and seeing my profile picture then you probably need medical assistance) but I just can't help being excited. Especially seeing as how they've got really top players this year and a new coach. Plus I'm hoping to prove my extremely negative brother (who happens to be a *gasp* UNC fan) wrong. He claims they're going to be just as terrible as they were in previous years (okay okay yes they were terrible just recently) while I'm hoping he's going to get a big dose of reality and realize that UK's losing days are over. (At least they'd better be or I'm suing somebody after all this hype over their season.) So yeah this season should be very interesting. ;)
Last (but most definitely not least) the second Twilight movie (New Moon) comes out!!! It's coming out only five days after my birthday, so I'm going to go with a friend or friends to see it as kind of a birthday thing. I am going to be so hyper and so excited that you probably wouldn't recognize me if you saw me at the theater. (I normally don't go nuts over movies.) But hey, if you can't go nuts occasionally what's the point of life? I also thought I'd post the newest trailer (just because I can't help myself and because it looks freaking amazing.) So yep here it is. Less than a month to go (thank goodness!). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs79_5n848Q
That's it for now. ;)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
ACT
Yesterday I woke up scared. I mean quaking in your boots (not that I was wearing boots when I woke up, but that's beside the point...), feeling like you're about to puke and faint at the same time, wanting to pack up and move to Pluto kind of scared. What in the world (you might be asking) could induce me to such a level of panic?....*drumroll*.....a multiple choice test that the whole world seems to think is an indicator of how smart you are and if you're going to be successful in life. So yes seeing as how I really really want a scholarship where you have to make at least a 30 on this so-called test, I was pretty dang nervous. Not to mention I had to walk into a big, scary public school where I didn't know a soul. That almost scared me more than the test....To top it all off I had to get up at 6:15 (earlier than I get up for school days) on a Saturday morning. If I hadn't been so scared I would have been pretty darn ticked....
Fortunately for me, as soon as I got in the school I calmed out. Wow. Hannah being calm. There's an oxymoron for you....Anyways, as I sat there at my desk (yes sitting at such a desk is perfectly alien to me), waiting an interminably long time for the dang test to start (I think they purposely take forever to start just to scare the rest of you that hasn't been scared yet) trying to tell myself that if I botched up it didn't mean I was a horrible loser who'd never get anywhere in life. When the test finally began, I was so relaxed I wondered if an alien had taken over my body. The first test was English (of course they give you the easiest test first when they should be giving you the hardest test since your brain is the freshest when you're first beginning the test) which was not that hard at all. I thought "Hey, this isn't so bad so far." Then the math test arrived. After looking at the first few problems, my familar panic returned. My mouth went dry, my heart started hammering, and I had a bad feeling that I had no idea whether Meredith would get a better deal with Smoky Mountain bike rental or Pine Mountain bike rental (or whatever the heck the problem was talking about). Let's just say, thanks to the math test I'm not sure whether I'll be getting that 30.....But hey, maybe I did better than I thought....
The reading test was harder than the English, but I think I did pretty decent on it. The science test was really hard, and I think it's thoroughly unfair that they save one of the hardest tests for last. At this point in the test taking, your brain is about dead and you just want to throw your pencil down and cry. So during the science test it's very tempting to just guess rather than use what small amount of brain energy you have left. Yes, I think the ACT creators hate high school students....Especially since they make you wait 3-8 weeks for your scores. Did they think we hadn't been tortured enough already so they decided to torture us some more???? *sigh*
When the test finally ended, I was so relieved I almost hugged the teacher. Finally, after all this studying and cramming it was OVER. Now I just have to hope I did well enough so I don't have to take the too-horrible-to-speak-its-name thing again.....
Later ;)
Fortunately for me, as soon as I got in the school I calmed out. Wow. Hannah being calm. There's an oxymoron for you....Anyways, as I sat there at my desk (yes sitting at such a desk is perfectly alien to me), waiting an interminably long time for the dang test to start (I think they purposely take forever to start just to scare the rest of you that hasn't been scared yet) trying to tell myself that if I botched up it didn't mean I was a horrible loser who'd never get anywhere in life. When the test finally began, I was so relaxed I wondered if an alien had taken over my body. The first test was English (of course they give you the easiest test first when they should be giving you the hardest test since your brain is the freshest when you're first beginning the test) which was not that hard at all. I thought "Hey, this isn't so bad so far." Then the math test arrived. After looking at the first few problems, my familar panic returned. My mouth went dry, my heart started hammering, and I had a bad feeling that I had no idea whether Meredith would get a better deal with Smoky Mountain bike rental or Pine Mountain bike rental (or whatever the heck the problem was talking about). Let's just say, thanks to the math test I'm not sure whether I'll be getting that 30.....But hey, maybe I did better than I thought....
The reading test was harder than the English, but I think I did pretty decent on it. The science test was really hard, and I think it's thoroughly unfair that they save one of the hardest tests for last. At this point in the test taking, your brain is about dead and you just want to throw your pencil down and cry. So during the science test it's very tempting to just guess rather than use what small amount of brain energy you have left. Yes, I think the ACT creators hate high school students....Especially since they make you wait 3-8 weeks for your scores. Did they think we hadn't been tortured enough already so they decided to torture us some more???? *sigh*
When the test finally ended, I was so relieved I almost hugged the teacher. Finally, after all this studying and cramming it was OVER. Now I just have to hope I did well enough so I don't have to take the too-horrible-to-speak-its-name thing again.....
Later ;)
Monday, October 19, 2009
BACK
Wow sorry it's been such a long time. I truly have been a blog slacker. Things have just been really crazy lately and I'm still trying to get into the swing of things. Not to mention I'm trying to survive my clutziness which has lately caused me to burn my finger making fish sticks (there is now a huge gash in my finger that shows lots of skin), slice my finger with a knife while cutting bread (I'll spare you the details on that one), and trip over a culvert while taking a walk and almost landing on my face (okay so that one was pretty funny.) Anyways, here's some stuff that has been going on.....
*I started volunteering at the hospital last month, and it's been quite an experience so far. I've only had the chance to do it twice so far (for some reason random things I have to do keep popping up on days I'm supposed to be volunteering) so so far the only things I've done are organize charts, make up little outfits for babies, give patients ice water, make copies (it took me a rather embarrassingly long time to figure out how to use the darn thing) and stand around doing nothing on slow days and feeling like a world class idiot. So basically it's not what you'd call thrilling work, but hey once you get into it it's actually pretty fun. Not to mention it gives me some great experience in that kind of a setting. Plus I get to work in womens' services which means I get to avoid the really sick people. For a paranoid hypochondriac like me, that is always a good thing. (I've already freaked out about MRSA and the flu quite enough and I don't need weekly panic attacks that's for sure...)
*Youth group stuff has been going AWESOMELY (don't even tell me that's not a word cause I say that it is ;) ) and homeschool group classes have been going pretty well too. The only problem with the classes is, that in home ec we are starting crocheting. If you don't know this about me already, me and crocheting (or any kind of sewing for that matter) don't mix. After all, I'm the kind of person who can't even tear out perforated pages without assistance and who can't cut in a straight line (normally). So yeah I'm probably going to flunk out just because of that (and who crochets anymore anyways??). Don't kill me if you like to crochet ;). Anyways, I guess we'll just have to see how it all goes.....The worst that could happen after all is getting kicked out of the class and being told I'm the worst, most idiotic student the teacher has ever laid eyes on. I could probably deal with that.....
Well I would write more ,but I really have to go so I'll catch you up to speed on some other things that have happened later. Over and out.
*I started volunteering at the hospital last month, and it's been quite an experience so far. I've only had the chance to do it twice so far (for some reason random things I have to do keep popping up on days I'm supposed to be volunteering) so so far the only things I've done are organize charts, make up little outfits for babies, give patients ice water, make copies (it took me a rather embarrassingly long time to figure out how to use the darn thing) and stand around doing nothing on slow days and feeling like a world class idiot. So basically it's not what you'd call thrilling work, but hey once you get into it it's actually pretty fun. Not to mention it gives me some great experience in that kind of a setting. Plus I get to work in womens' services which means I get to avoid the really sick people. For a paranoid hypochondriac like me, that is always a good thing. (I've already freaked out about MRSA and the flu quite enough and I don't need weekly panic attacks that's for sure...)
*Youth group stuff has been going AWESOMELY (don't even tell me that's not a word cause I say that it is ;) ) and homeschool group classes have been going pretty well too. The only problem with the classes is, that in home ec we are starting crocheting. If you don't know this about me already, me and crocheting (or any kind of sewing for that matter) don't mix. After all, I'm the kind of person who can't even tear out perforated pages without assistance and who can't cut in a straight line (normally). So yeah I'm probably going to flunk out just because of that (and who crochets anymore anyways??). Don't kill me if you like to crochet ;). Anyways, I guess we'll just have to see how it all goes.....The worst that could happen after all is getting kicked out of the class and being told I'm the worst, most idiotic student the teacher has ever laid eyes on. I could probably deal with that.....
Well I would write more ,but I really have to go so I'll catch you up to speed on some other things that have happened later. Over and out.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
This Week
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, but things have been really crazy lately. Here are a few things that have been going on this week...
*School has been insane so far. I think I’ve got velocity-versus-time graphs coming out of my ears, my hand’s about to fall off from over-use, and when I woke up yesterday morning and realized I still had to get through one whole day before the weekend, I almost cried. Don’t get me wrong, I do like a lot of things about school. It’s just the whole getting up early/having wayy too much to do/not being able to study exactly what I want when I want kind of thing. *sigh* At least the weekend has finally arrived. ;)
*Tuesday night I went to a teen book discussion thing at the library which was pretty interesting. I mainly went just to meet some new people and such, seeing as how the book was just not my favorite. Anyways, it was really interesting because one guy I was talking to used to live in the same area that I just moved from. He’s the second person I’ve met so far that’s been from that area, and it’s pretty strange I can tell you that. I mean the area I moved from was one of those areas where nothing momentous happens at all. (No offense to that place at all. I loved living there. It just wasn’t any New York city or something like that....) So I guess it’s a small world after all, or something just plain creepy is going on....
*Wednesday night, my youth group went up to this farm for mentally challenged adults to help out around there for some festival they were about to have. It was a very interesting experience, and I’m really glad that this church focuses on missions on Wednesday nights. I haven’t had a chance to do a lot of stuff like that, so I think it’ll be good for me ;) Then on Thursday, I finally got to start voice lessons back. This year’s going to be a bit different in that regard, because I’m taking lessons at somebody’s house rather than at a college. It went really well, though it was kind of weird that my teacher’s dog was lying in the middle of the room sleeping while I was doing my lesson. I’m not really sure if that’s a compliment to my voice or not, but oh well. hahaha.
*A quick update on my grandma: She still can hardly breathe, and it’s because the blood vessels around her heart are not working properly (because of radiation she had for breast cancer many years ago). So now she’s going on some new medicine to help her blood vessels, and hopefully that will keep the doctors from having to do a huge operation on her heart which would be really bad for her right now considering how frail she is. Continued prayers are great.
Now I’m going to go enjoy my weekend ;) Later
*School has been insane so far. I think I’ve got velocity-versus-time graphs coming out of my ears, my hand’s about to fall off from over-use, and when I woke up yesterday morning and realized I still had to get through one whole day before the weekend, I almost cried. Don’t get me wrong, I do like a lot of things about school. It’s just the whole getting up early/having wayy too much to do/not being able to study exactly what I want when I want kind of thing. *sigh* At least the weekend has finally arrived. ;)
*Tuesday night I went to a teen book discussion thing at the library which was pretty interesting. I mainly went just to meet some new people and such, seeing as how the book was just not my favorite. Anyways, it was really interesting because one guy I was talking to used to live in the same area that I just moved from. He’s the second person I’ve met so far that’s been from that area, and it’s pretty strange I can tell you that. I mean the area I moved from was one of those areas where nothing momentous happens at all. (No offense to that place at all. I loved living there. It just wasn’t any New York city or something like that....) So I guess it’s a small world after all, or something just plain creepy is going on....
*Wednesday night, my youth group went up to this farm for mentally challenged adults to help out around there for some festival they were about to have. It was a very interesting experience, and I’m really glad that this church focuses on missions on Wednesday nights. I haven’t had a chance to do a lot of stuff like that, so I think it’ll be good for me ;) Then on Thursday, I finally got to start voice lessons back. This year’s going to be a bit different in that regard, because I’m taking lessons at somebody’s house rather than at a college. It went really well, though it was kind of weird that my teacher’s dog was lying in the middle of the room sleeping while I was doing my lesson. I’m not really sure if that’s a compliment to my voice or not, but oh well. hahaha.
*A quick update on my grandma: She still can hardly breathe, and it’s because the blood vessels around her heart are not working properly (because of radiation she had for breast cancer many years ago). So now she’s going on some new medicine to help her blood vessels, and hopefully that will keep the doctors from having to do a huge operation on her heart which would be really bad for her right now considering how frail she is. Continued prayers are great.
Now I’m going to go enjoy my weekend ;) Later
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Homeschool Group
Last Monday, I went to the beginning of the year orientation for my homeschool group. Now I know what you're thinking. If you're homeschooled, then why in the heck do you have classes with other kids?? Doesn't that defeat the point? Let me explain...1: We only once a week (Mondays) for 3 hours. So it's not 24/7. (Not that any school really meets 24/7 as the students would probably be dead if they did, but you get the point...). 2: We don't do core classes or anything. We just do elective classes that are hard to fulfill at home. For example, I'm taking Journalism/Yearbook, Home Economics, and KY State History, and everybody (oh yes, all 13 of our extremely large high school group) have to take the Christian Character Traits class. 3: It's just nice now and then to take a few classes with some other kids and make some new friends. Plus they have a graduation ceremony for high schoolers. Soo that completely satisifes any longing I might have for public school (which I can assure you isn't much....;) ).
Anyways, the orientation went pretty well. At first it was rather annoying though. All of us (all the kids and their parents) had to meet up and listen to the director ramble on and on (and on) about random things that make perfect daydreaming material....It was really hard to daydream though because the really little kids kept whining their heads off, and this one girl a few rows up from us was practically screaming her head off. No wonder I had a searing headache. Not to mention the director (who was apparently very nervous about public speaking which was probably why she was doing this) sounded like she was about to tear up through the entire speech. It was quite odd. She even sounded heartbroken over the middle schoolers rotational schedule. Gosh now I'd heard everything...Anyways I'm not blaming her or anything. If I had to public speak I'd probably cry my head off, trip over the microphone cord because I couldn't see through my tears, and then fall into the crowd, land on some two-year-old, and then get sued or be forever known as a crazy two-year-old-attacking lunatic. Scary stuff....
After the main speech finally ended, those of us who hadn't died of boredom yet got to split up into our respective age groups and hear about our different classes. Before we heard about them though, they made us high schoolers play some random name game where the first person had to say their name and then a food that started with the first letter of their name. Then the next person had to repeat the name and the food of the person who went before them, plus their own name and food thing, and on and on and on. I tried desparately to think of a food that started with the letter H, but didn't have much luck. At first the only thing I could of was honey, but I really really DESPISE that horrible stuff. I only take it when I'm desparately sick with a sore throat (and I mean extremely EXTREMELY desparate). It's like being a torture chamber having that stuff slowly....slink....down.....your....throat. Anyways, I ended up saying the second thing that came into my mind- ham. And I don't even like ham that much. And it's no good being known as Hannah Ham. I mean really how uncool is that? Well let's just hope everyone forgets all about that or else I'm going to have to learn a Memory Charm (Harry Potter stuff hahaha). Anyways, overall, the classes sound really fun and everybody I met was really nice, so I'm pleased. =] I'll definitely keep you updated on how they go.
Later
Anyways, the orientation went pretty well. At first it was rather annoying though. All of us (all the kids and their parents) had to meet up and listen to the director ramble on and on (and on) about random things that make perfect daydreaming material....It was really hard to daydream though because the really little kids kept whining their heads off, and this one girl a few rows up from us was practically screaming her head off. No wonder I had a searing headache. Not to mention the director (who was apparently very nervous about public speaking which was probably why she was doing this) sounded like she was about to tear up through the entire speech. It was quite odd. She even sounded heartbroken over the middle schoolers rotational schedule. Gosh now I'd heard everything...Anyways I'm not blaming her or anything. If I had to public speak I'd probably cry my head off, trip over the microphone cord because I couldn't see through my tears, and then fall into the crowd, land on some two-year-old, and then get sued or be forever known as a crazy two-year-old-attacking lunatic. Scary stuff....
After the main speech finally ended, those of us who hadn't died of boredom yet got to split up into our respective age groups and hear about our different classes. Before we heard about them though, they made us high schoolers play some random name game where the first person had to say their name and then a food that started with the first letter of their name. Then the next person had to repeat the name and the food of the person who went before them, plus their own name and food thing, and on and on and on. I tried desparately to think of a food that started with the letter H, but didn't have much luck. At first the only thing I could of was honey, but I really really DESPISE that horrible stuff. I only take it when I'm desparately sick with a sore throat (and I mean extremely EXTREMELY desparate). It's like being a torture chamber having that stuff slowly....slink....down.....your....throat. Anyways, I ended up saying the second thing that came into my mind- ham. And I don't even like ham that much. And it's no good being known as Hannah Ham. I mean really how uncool is that? Well let's just hope everyone forgets all about that or else I'm going to have to learn a Memory Charm (Harry Potter stuff hahaha). Anyways, overall, the classes sound really fun and everybody I met was really nice, so I'm pleased. =] I'll definitely keep you updated on how they go.
Later
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Sick
Just a few days ago, I remember thinking to myself, "Ya know, I haven't been sick in forever. Here it is cold and flu season and so far nothing has touched me. I must have some kind of a strong immune system!" Famous last words....
Just yesterday, I came down with a sore throat. Not only was it one of the really bad kinds when you feel like hot plaster is exploding in your throat, I contracted it in the middle of the night. For some reason every symptom I have is always amplified by about a million times in the middle of the night. It's also frustrating because there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. I thought about going downstairs and taking a zinc tablet (those things are really miraculous at shortening your cold by the way) but I figured I'd just kill myself falling downstairs in the dark or wake everybody up and then really get killed. (If you didn't already know this, my family, including me, is not too polite to people who wake them up in the middle of the night.). So waking anybody up was definitely out. So, I just ended up lying there, thinking about how miserable the next few days were going to be, how miserable I felt at the moment, and how plain ticked off I was about the whole thing and how I probably had anger management issues.
The next day, my throat felt so bad I couldn't talk. When I did talk, it felt like people were stabbing knives down my throat. Now you might not believe this, but it's very painful for me to go a whole day without talking to a single soul. My family probably enjoyed the peace and quiet, but it was pure torture for me. Heck I couldn't even get my anger out by yelling at my brothers. The most frustrating part was, that the rest of me felt absolutely fine. It was just that dumb throat. And because of that dumb throat I couldn't go anywhere abd couldn't do anything because I just plain couldn't focus, so I spent most of the day moping around, taking zinc tablets, and trying not to die of pure pent-up frustration. I went to bed that night certain that the next day would be better....
Well to put it bluntly, it wasn't. I woke up in the middle of the night (again) with every muscle in my body aching. I mean I was radiating ache. On top of it all, it hurt to swallow because my throat muscles were so tight, my nose was clogged up, and I felt like I'd just emerged from a painful boxing match. When morning finally came, I could hardly drag myself out of bed. I kept sitting up, falling back down, sleeping for ten more minutes, and then repeating the cycle until I finally dragged myself downstairs. I probably looked like some freaky monster who had been pushed around an awful lot, because I sure felt like one. Gosh I felt like a messed up piece of crap.
Luckily, I've been getting better as the day has gone one. My sore throat's basically gone, the tightness is a little better, and I'm not as achy or tired. I am still pretty darn mad about the whole thing though. I was supposed to start voice lessons back up today, but because of that stupid ailment that will remain nameless I wasn't able to. Plus, seeing as how I had to miss half a day of school today and half a day yesterday, I'm already behind and it's only the first week! What a lame start to the school year.*sigh* oh well. That's life I guess. Plus since I'm a workaholic I should have no problem catching up. (I hope.) And at least it wasn't swine flu. Now that would have been a disaster for a hypochondriac like me.....
Later
Just yesterday, I came down with a sore throat. Not only was it one of the really bad kinds when you feel like hot plaster is exploding in your throat, I contracted it in the middle of the night. For some reason every symptom I have is always amplified by about a million times in the middle of the night. It's also frustrating because there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. I thought about going downstairs and taking a zinc tablet (those things are really miraculous at shortening your cold by the way) but I figured I'd just kill myself falling downstairs in the dark or wake everybody up and then really get killed. (If you didn't already know this, my family, including me, is not too polite to people who wake them up in the middle of the night.). So waking anybody up was definitely out. So, I just ended up lying there, thinking about how miserable the next few days were going to be, how miserable I felt at the moment, and how plain ticked off I was about the whole thing and how I probably had anger management issues.
The next day, my throat felt so bad I couldn't talk. When I did talk, it felt like people were stabbing knives down my throat. Now you might not believe this, but it's very painful for me to go a whole day without talking to a single soul. My family probably enjoyed the peace and quiet, but it was pure torture for me. Heck I couldn't even get my anger out by yelling at my brothers. The most frustrating part was, that the rest of me felt absolutely fine. It was just that dumb throat. And because of that dumb throat I couldn't go anywhere abd couldn't do anything because I just plain couldn't focus, so I spent most of the day moping around, taking zinc tablets, and trying not to die of pure pent-up frustration. I went to bed that night certain that the next day would be better....
Well to put it bluntly, it wasn't. I woke up in the middle of the night (again) with every muscle in my body aching. I mean I was radiating ache. On top of it all, it hurt to swallow because my throat muscles were so tight, my nose was clogged up, and I felt like I'd just emerged from a painful boxing match. When morning finally came, I could hardly drag myself out of bed. I kept sitting up, falling back down, sleeping for ten more minutes, and then repeating the cycle until I finally dragged myself downstairs. I probably looked like some freaky monster who had been pushed around an awful lot, because I sure felt like one. Gosh I felt like a messed up piece of crap.
Luckily, I've been getting better as the day has gone one. My sore throat's basically gone, the tightness is a little better, and I'm not as achy or tired. I am still pretty darn mad about the whole thing though. I was supposed to start voice lessons back up today, but because of that stupid ailment that will remain nameless I wasn't able to. Plus, seeing as how I had to miss half a day of school today and half a day yesterday, I'm already behind and it's only the first week! What a lame start to the school year.*sigh* oh well. That's life I guess. Plus since I'm a workaholic I should have no problem catching up. (I hope.) And at least it wasn't swine flu. Now that would have been a disaster for a hypochondriac like me.....
Later
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Forgetful Me
The other day, my grandpa came to pick me and my brothers up to take us over to their house for dinner. A simple event that should surely have no complications involved. Think again (after all, when you're dealing with the likes of me nothing is simple). Anyways, my mom (who had been at my granparents' house all day), had called me earlier to tell me to bring some brown rice that we had over to my grandparents' house so that she could fix it for dinner. Easy enough for a person who remembers almost everything (note the word "almost") she's supposed to. (I particularly have an uncanny knack for remembering names and birthdays, so don't feel creeped out or think that I'm a freaky stalker or something if I remember your birthday after only having been told once...)
Moving on, my grandpa showed up a little earlier than usual. So flustered old me grabbed my purse, ran out the door, ran back in the house to grab a book (that I've read about a million times just for the record) and ran back out again. Then I ran back to the door again to lock in. When I finally made it to the van and we pulled out, I did something pretty stupid. I started reading in the car. You'd think that I'd know better by now...If you don't know this already, I get carsick rather easily. (When I was little I threw up twice in the car. Just thought that needed to be said....). So me + reading in the car = disaster. I don't puke or anything, but I start feeling really wierd. The words spin in front of my eyes, my head feels like it's going to explode with nausea, and I have to close my eyes, curl up in a ball (all while buckled up) and pretend I'm anywhere but the vehicle. Well, like a true dunce, I told myself that I'd be fine. Well, I wasn't. I started feeling very ill, and when the book went into a discussion of food I had to shut the book very quickly....So it was sitting in the car, hunched up in a ball, feeling not so well at all, that I remembered something crucial; I had forgotten the brown rice. Impossible. How could this be?? I never forget anything. (Really. It's true.) I determined that I must have forgotten because my grandpa had showed up so early and flustered me. But that didn't really solve the problem. I really didn't know if my Mom would really kill me for forgetting the brown rice, but I didn't really want to find out. So my poor grandpa had to drive allll the way back to the house (we were about 20 minutes out). He probably wanted to kill me at this point, but he's too nice to say anything....
When we arrived at the house, I opened the garage door and raced inside. It was then that I realized I had done it again; I had locked the door leading to the house from the garage, which meant I had to use a key to get in. My grandpa had my mom's key ring at this time (long, unimportant story) so I figured the house key had to be somewhere on it. So my grandpa and I spent the next five minutes attempting (and mostly failing) to locate the correct key to that door. I think we tried about every key on the dang key ring. It's a good thing no random pass-er-bys happend to see us. They probably thought we were burglars or something. A pair of pathetic burglars at that, but you never know who's a burglar and who's not these days....Anyways, we finally got in, and I raced for the pantry. I searched that pantry high and low, and still no sign of the brown rice. The only thing I knew at this point was that my stomach was growling ferociously, and a box of all natural chocolate cake icing sitting in the pantry was staring me right in the face. I figured my grandpa would think I had really lost it if I started making cake icing at such a time as this, so I quickly shut the pantry door. I then called my mom, who informed me that the brown rice was in the refrigerator. As I grabbed the brown rice and headed for the door, I muttered to myself, "This brown rice sure as heck better be excellent."....
So there you have it. Another one of my endless stories about how dumb I can be sometimes....;) Aside from that, nothing much else has really been going on, but this week is going to be really busy. For one thing I'm starting school tomorrow, plus our homeschool group is having an orientation thing tomorrow. Then Thursday I'm finally starting voice lessons again! =]
Later
Moving on, my grandpa showed up a little earlier than usual. So flustered old me grabbed my purse, ran out the door, ran back in the house to grab a book (that I've read about a million times just for the record) and ran back out again. Then I ran back to the door again to lock in. When I finally made it to the van and we pulled out, I did something pretty stupid. I started reading in the car. You'd think that I'd know better by now...If you don't know this already, I get carsick rather easily. (When I was little I threw up twice in the car. Just thought that needed to be said....). So me + reading in the car = disaster. I don't puke or anything, but I start feeling really wierd. The words spin in front of my eyes, my head feels like it's going to explode with nausea, and I have to close my eyes, curl up in a ball (all while buckled up) and pretend I'm anywhere but the vehicle. Well, like a true dunce, I told myself that I'd be fine. Well, I wasn't. I started feeling very ill, and when the book went into a discussion of food I had to shut the book very quickly....So it was sitting in the car, hunched up in a ball, feeling not so well at all, that I remembered something crucial; I had forgotten the brown rice. Impossible. How could this be?? I never forget anything. (Really. It's true.) I determined that I must have forgotten because my grandpa had showed up so early and flustered me. But that didn't really solve the problem. I really didn't know if my Mom would really kill me for forgetting the brown rice, but I didn't really want to find out. So my poor grandpa had to drive allll the way back to the house (we were about 20 minutes out). He probably wanted to kill me at this point, but he's too nice to say anything....
When we arrived at the house, I opened the garage door and raced inside. It was then that I realized I had done it again; I had locked the door leading to the house from the garage, which meant I had to use a key to get in. My grandpa had my mom's key ring at this time (long, unimportant story) so I figured the house key had to be somewhere on it. So my grandpa and I spent the next five minutes attempting (and mostly failing) to locate the correct key to that door. I think we tried about every key on the dang key ring. It's a good thing no random pass-er-bys happend to see us. They probably thought we were burglars or something. A pair of pathetic burglars at that, but you never know who's a burglar and who's not these days....Anyways, we finally got in, and I raced for the pantry. I searched that pantry high and low, and still no sign of the brown rice. The only thing I knew at this point was that my stomach was growling ferociously, and a box of all natural chocolate cake icing sitting in the pantry was staring me right in the face. I figured my grandpa would think I had really lost it if I started making cake icing at such a time as this, so I quickly shut the pantry door. I then called my mom, who informed me that the brown rice was in the refrigerator. As I grabbed the brown rice and headed for the door, I muttered to myself, "This brown rice sure as heck better be excellent."....
So there you have it. Another one of my endless stories about how dumb I can be sometimes....;) Aside from that, nothing much else has really been going on, but this week is going to be really busy. For one thing I'm starting school tomorrow, plus our homeschool group is having an orientation thing tomorrow. Then Thursday I'm finally starting voice lessons again! =]
Later
Thursday, August 27, 2009
A Few Things You May Not Know About Me....
*I can not stand to stay up late. (I know, I'm a wierd teenager but I just can't help it). I can make it until about 10:45 at the latest, and then I'm just plain out. If people in my family are making noise at that late an hour, I will stick my head out of my bedroom and tell them, (in a very nice voice), to please shut their mouths. On youth trips I am always the first person to go to bed. Sorry, that's just me. If I don't get my full 8 hours,....well you don't want to know what I'm like then. Really and truly stuff of nightmares....I will make exceptions for slumber parties however. I can get pretty hyper when it comes to those, but my hyperness normally lasts till about 2 AM. Then you can just plain forget me staying up another second. I really don't know how I'm going to make it in college....*sigh*
*I hate most modern TV shows that teens are addicted to (please don't write me off as a wierdo.) I like the oldies: Andy Griffith, Cosby, Columbo (I'M MAJORLY ADDICTED TO THAT SHOW), and stuff like that (though I will confess a weakness for So You Think You Can Dance. Great show, great show ;) ).
*I've become a bit more health conscientious over the last few months. I try to avoid all processed junk food, try to eat organics, use all natural products as much as possible, and get sunlight (which I desparately need. I'm so pale I could probably pass as a vampire). I think health is fascinating, which is probably a reason I want to go into the alternative health field. I could really talk about that kind of stuff all day. ;)
*I get frustrated very easily. I have zilch patience levels.
*I hate talking on the phone. Please just text me instead. (Notice: I will make exceptions for particularly awesome people).
*I am a proud Harry Potter addict.
*I have bad allergies. Dust, dairy, cashews, salmon, you name it and I'm probably sensitive in some way to it....*sigh*
*I love to drive. Heck, I'm even a little nostalgic for the driver's ed days *sniff sniff*
*My birthday is November 15 (repeat it to yourself until you can say it in your sleep).
Gtg, so that's it for now. ;)
*I hate most modern TV shows that teens are addicted to (please don't write me off as a wierdo.) I like the oldies: Andy Griffith, Cosby, Columbo (I'M MAJORLY ADDICTED TO THAT SHOW), and stuff like that (though I will confess a weakness for So You Think You Can Dance. Great show, great show ;) ).
*I've become a bit more health conscientious over the last few months. I try to avoid all processed junk food, try to eat organics, use all natural products as much as possible, and get sunlight (which I desparately need. I'm so pale I could probably pass as a vampire). I think health is fascinating, which is probably a reason I want to go into the alternative health field. I could really talk about that kind of stuff all day. ;)
*I get frustrated very easily. I have zilch patience levels.
*I hate talking on the phone. Please just text me instead. (Notice: I will make exceptions for particularly awesome people).
*I am a proud Harry Potter addict.
*I have bad allergies. Dust, dairy, cashews, salmon, you name it and I'm probably sensitive in some way to it....*sigh*
*I love to drive. Heck, I'm even a little nostalgic for the driver's ed days *sniff sniff*
*My birthday is November 15 (repeat it to yourself until you can say it in your sleep).
Gtg, so that's it for now. ;)
Monday, August 24, 2009
The Chorus
Well, I passed the chorus audition. Let’s just say it was about the easiest audition (okay it was the only audition) I’ve ever done. The lady in charge had told me to prepare a hymn to sing, so I prepared one and worked diligently on it for days. Let’s just say that when I work diligently on a song you can hear loud screams, bizarre sobbing noises, and the loud bang of piano keys coming from the music room (yes, I’m a bit of a perfectionist). Anyways, I brought my book of Italian arias along, just in case she decided to let me sing one of those instead. Well turns out she did. (All that diligent work on that hymn for nothing. Sorry to my poor family who had to listen to me ;) ). I sang through one page, and then she stopped me. After that she had me sing some sirens and do some echo singing. Then she gave me the thumbs up and said, "You’re in." I was pretty dang relieved. For a minute there, I was afraid she had stopped me on the Italian song because of the torture involved with listening to my voice....
The good news is that the singing was a lot of fun. We worked on Christmas carols (from the Dicken’s era) for our Christmas performance (it’s never too early to sing Christmas songs in my opinion) and the director was very good. However, there was a negative side. Virtually everyone there was younger than me. The group mainly consisted of middle school girls (and a few ones even younger). Now I’m certainly not knocking girls younger than me. Not at all. The thing is, when you’ve been taking voice lessons for 3 years and have had a lot more experience than everybody else in the group, you kind of get the feeling that you don’t fit in. So when I got home I decided to just forget the whole thing and save myself some heartache.
Well, a few days later my mom happened to be talking to the director on the phone (for some reason or another that is really too complicated to explain). My mom said that the director said (a bit confusing I know, but bear with me) that I should give it another try because 1: New things should always be given a second chance; 2: One of the girls there was actually 18 (I did not see that one coming, but oh well. I guess I shouldn’t be talking because I’m kind of young looking myself.); and 3: There was another girl who was closer to my age (15 to be exact) who was in the choir, but just didn’t happen to be there that day. Soo the bottom line is that I will be giving it another try. I hate to back out of things after only the first day, and who knows. Maybe something miraculously wonderful will happen that will end up changing my life forever. ( Well I kind of doubt that, but you really never know. ;))
The only thing I have left to say is that I can’t believe it’s the last week of summer. This really has been the fastest moving summer I can remember for a while. And you know what’s funny? This has actually been the longest break we’ve ever had from school over the summer. Odd. *sigh* ;)
The good news is that the singing was a lot of fun. We worked on Christmas carols (from the Dicken’s era) for our Christmas performance (it’s never too early to sing Christmas songs in my opinion) and the director was very good. However, there was a negative side. Virtually everyone there was younger than me. The group mainly consisted of middle school girls (and a few ones even younger). Now I’m certainly not knocking girls younger than me. Not at all. The thing is, when you’ve been taking voice lessons for 3 years and have had a lot more experience than everybody else in the group, you kind of get the feeling that you don’t fit in. So when I got home I decided to just forget the whole thing and save myself some heartache.
Well, a few days later my mom happened to be talking to the director on the phone (for some reason or another that is really too complicated to explain). My mom said that the director said (a bit confusing I know, but bear with me) that I should give it another try because 1: New things should always be given a second chance; 2: One of the girls there was actually 18 (I did not see that one coming, but oh well. I guess I shouldn’t be talking because I’m kind of young looking myself.); and 3: There was another girl who was closer to my age (15 to be exact) who was in the choir, but just didn’t happen to be there that day. Soo the bottom line is that I will be giving it another try. I hate to back out of things after only the first day, and who knows. Maybe something miraculously wonderful will happen that will end up changing my life forever. ( Well I kind of doubt that, but you really never know. ;))
The only thing I have left to say is that I can’t believe it’s the last week of summer. This really has been the fastest moving summer I can remember for a while. And you know what’s funny? This has actually been the longest break we’ve ever had from school over the summer. Odd. *sigh* ;)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Update on My Grandma, and a Few Other Things....
*My grandma is now HOME, which is a really great thing if you've ever been anywhere near a hospital. Don't get me wrong; hospitals are great and (most of the time) are very helpful. However, it looks like it's just plain not fun being in one. How in the heck are you supposed to get any sleep when nurses come in every few hours to poke on you?? Anyways, I think my grandma is in a little better shape, and is moving around (which is good). She's not as weak, but is definitely not in what I call good condition. Not only is she battling cancer, but she also has a heart problem which is giving her problems as well. Plus, a nurse will have to come by her house every day for a little while to drain more fluid off of her lungs (who would have thought such a small woman could have so much fluid). So the bottom line, she is definitely in continued need of your prayers. Thank you much.
*For those of who don't know, I hate volleyball. I really really do. Not only do I stink at it, but I am just plain terrified at the thought of playing it. I cringe away from the ball everytime it comes my direction, and whenever my old youth group suggested playing a "good ole" game of volleyball I almost started crying. So I thought it was rather funny when the volleyball coach of the homeschool group we are joining (yes, this homeschool group has a girls volleyball team and a boys basketball team) called me up earlier today. The minute I realized that she was calling to try to convince me to come to volleyball practice tomorrow, I almost busted out laughing. Trust me, no volleyball team wants me anywhere near their vicinity. Five minutes with me and they'd be running me out of town with giant knives. Anyways, I immediately started to explain to her that I was really really (beyond words) bad at volleyball. She immediately went into a long speal about how it didn't matter how good you were as long as you were having fun and getting some good physical exercise (I'm sure she would change her mind about that after seeing me play). I suppose I should have just told her the truth about my hatred of volleyball. However, I was just plain stunned, and sometimes when you are just plain stunned you don't think logically. So I told her that I would think about it, and that I would call her back if I decided to give it a try. Let's just say I won't be giving her a call back...She seemed a very nice lady, but volleyball's just not for me. Sorry folks.
*I'm kind of nervous about tomorrow evening, because I'm auditioning for a community chorus thing. Even though the auditioner said the audition would be pretty laid back, I'm still nervous because I get nervous about pretty much everything. Hey I would get nervous singing in front of stuffed animals. ;) I just hope that I make it, because the first rehearsal is right after my audition. Soo at least I won't be kept in anticipation for very long. *sigh* Sometimes I feel like my whole life is one nervewracking endeavor right after the other. But oh well. Guess I'll just get over it. ;)
Later
*For those of who don't know, I hate volleyball. I really really do. Not only do I stink at it, but I am just plain terrified at the thought of playing it. I cringe away from the ball everytime it comes my direction, and whenever my old youth group suggested playing a "good ole" game of volleyball I almost started crying. So I thought it was rather funny when the volleyball coach of the homeschool group we are joining (yes, this homeschool group has a girls volleyball team and a boys basketball team) called me up earlier today. The minute I realized that she was calling to try to convince me to come to volleyball practice tomorrow, I almost busted out laughing. Trust me, no volleyball team wants me anywhere near their vicinity. Five minutes with me and they'd be running me out of town with giant knives. Anyways, I immediately started to explain to her that I was really really (beyond words) bad at volleyball. She immediately went into a long speal about how it didn't matter how good you were as long as you were having fun and getting some good physical exercise (I'm sure she would change her mind about that after seeing me play). I suppose I should have just told her the truth about my hatred of volleyball. However, I was just plain stunned, and sometimes when you are just plain stunned you don't think logically. So I told her that I would think about it, and that I would call her back if I decided to give it a try. Let's just say I won't be giving her a call back...She seemed a very nice lady, but volleyball's just not for me. Sorry folks.
*I'm kind of nervous about tomorrow evening, because I'm auditioning for a community chorus thing. Even though the auditioner said the audition would be pretty laid back, I'm still nervous because I get nervous about pretty much everything. Hey I would get nervous singing in front of stuffed animals. ;) I just hope that I make it, because the first rehearsal is right after my audition. Soo at least I won't be kept in anticipation for very long. *sigh* Sometimes I feel like my whole life is one nervewracking endeavor right after the other. But oh well. Guess I'll just get over it. ;)
Later
Monday, August 17, 2009
Happy Late Birthday, Dad
Last Saturday (August 15th) was my Dad's birthday. He would have been 47 years old....I just wanted to post a few things I remember and treasure about my Dad seeing as how it's his birthday and all.
*My Dad was truly one of the most supportive people I've ever known. Whether it was a voice recital, a church performance, or a 2-hour dance recital, he was always there (along with my mom of course). When I first took dance, he was always up for the adventure of carting me and my friends to rehearsals. He even worked out a carpooling schedule with some of the other moms (and didn't seem to mind at all). He always encouraged me in every hobby I did, and always told me I did amazing (he was probably prejudiced, but oh well. ;) ).
*My Dad was one heck of an amazing driving coach. Not only was he a fantastic driver himself, he also knew just how to whip me into shape and scare me out of making a really dumb driving error and killing myself. He always said that if I was ever in a wreck and it was my fault, my license would suddenly vanish. Same thing if I was ever caught talking on the phone or texting while driving. Given the fact that he was giving me one of those stare downs while he was telling me this, I went right along with him. (Just so you know, Dad, I never ever use the phone while I'm driving, and I haven't had a wreck yet ;) ). He also worked effortlessly to help me with my dreaded Achille's Heel of driving: parking. To put it bluntly, I stunk. He tried everything. We went over to the church parking lot, he got out of the car and stood at the edge of a parking space, and then attempted to direct me into it. He sure had a lot of patience with a nut like me. Even though he was pretty tough, I would give anything to be sitting in the car getting yelled at by my Dad right now about a pretty dumb mistake I made (even if it was as simple as not stopping at just the correct time when coming to a stop sign).
*My Dad was funny, and had a knack for cheering me up. I'd come in the house, ranting and raving about something, and swearing the whole world was out to get me and that my life sucked. After five minutes with my Dad, I'd feel pretty much just fine. Even if he couldn't solve my problems for me, he sure did make them seem pretty and unimportant. He also could make everybody laugh really really hard. Some of the stories he regaled us with from his earlier years just about killed us (and they never got old now matter how many times he told them). He also was pretty spontaneous. One summer he announced that we were going on vacation, and he wasn't telling us kid where we were going. When we showed up at Biltmore House, I was about the happiest person alive. I'd always wanted to go there, and was pretty dang happy to say the least.....
*My Dad was strict when he needed to be, encouraging, kind, understanding, and just about one of the greatest guys I know (not to mention my ever faithful blog reader. If I stopped blogging for any period of time, he'd let me know and tell me that I needed to start up again). There are sooo many other things I could say about him, and so many things I just can't begin to put into words. He was great, and if you had the opportunity to get to know him then you know what I'm talking about.
I miss you, Dad.
*My Dad was truly one of the most supportive people I've ever known. Whether it was a voice recital, a church performance, or a 2-hour dance recital, he was always there (along with my mom of course). When I first took dance, he was always up for the adventure of carting me and my friends to rehearsals. He even worked out a carpooling schedule with some of the other moms (and didn't seem to mind at all). He always encouraged me in every hobby I did, and always told me I did amazing (he was probably prejudiced, but oh well. ;) ).
*My Dad was one heck of an amazing driving coach. Not only was he a fantastic driver himself, he also knew just how to whip me into shape and scare me out of making a really dumb driving error and killing myself. He always said that if I was ever in a wreck and it was my fault, my license would suddenly vanish. Same thing if I was ever caught talking on the phone or texting while driving. Given the fact that he was giving me one of those stare downs while he was telling me this, I went right along with him. (Just so you know, Dad, I never ever use the phone while I'm driving, and I haven't had a wreck yet ;) ). He also worked effortlessly to help me with my dreaded Achille's Heel of driving: parking. To put it bluntly, I stunk. He tried everything. We went over to the church parking lot, he got out of the car and stood at the edge of a parking space, and then attempted to direct me into it. He sure had a lot of patience with a nut like me. Even though he was pretty tough, I would give anything to be sitting in the car getting yelled at by my Dad right now about a pretty dumb mistake I made (even if it was as simple as not stopping at just the correct time when coming to a stop sign).
*My Dad was funny, and had a knack for cheering me up. I'd come in the house, ranting and raving about something, and swearing the whole world was out to get me and that my life sucked. After five minutes with my Dad, I'd feel pretty much just fine. Even if he couldn't solve my problems for me, he sure did make them seem pretty and unimportant. He also could make everybody laugh really really hard. Some of the stories he regaled us with from his earlier years just about killed us (and they never got old now matter how many times he told them). He also was pretty spontaneous. One summer he announced that we were going on vacation, and he wasn't telling us kid where we were going. When we showed up at Biltmore House, I was about the happiest person alive. I'd always wanted to go there, and was pretty dang happy to say the least.....
*My Dad was strict when he needed to be, encouraging, kind, understanding, and just about one of the greatest guys I know (not to mention my ever faithful blog reader. If I stopped blogging for any period of time, he'd let me know and tell me that I needed to start up again). There are sooo many other things I could say about him, and so many things I just can't begin to put into words. He was great, and if you had the opportunity to get to know him then you know what I'm talking about.
I miss you, Dad.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Crazy Friday
Yesterday was pretty crazy, and not all that fun. It started out at the dentists’s office (not a great way to start an afternoon). I had already had to go in the week before, because I was having some serious mouth problems. I had two odd lines on the side of my tongue, my jaws ached, I felt pressure and tightness in my face, I had some pretty awful headaches, and my neck was stiff. Basically, when I had a headaches and aching jaws at the same time I felt like I’d just gotten out of a particularly cruel boxing match. My mom had been pretty sure of what my problem was all along, but like the hypochondriac I am, I had to get a professional’s word for it. The dentist told me I had TMJ. No surprise there. Then the surprise came. I had gotten this condition because when my orthodontist put braces on me he completely went wrong. He had "fixed" my problem by forcing my upper jaw backward. The real problem had been that my lower jaw had been behind. Thus, the orthodontist never should have pushed my front jaw back in the first place. It had been doing its job correctly, minding its own business. Plus I never should have had two teeth extracted. So, for the price of having a perfectly straight smile, I now am stuck with a screwed up mouth and all kinds of problems. Thanks a lot ortho.....
In case you were wondering, this dentist is not your average conventional dentist. He’s a biological dentist (and a certified orthodontist as well) that doesn’t push x-rays down your throat every two seconds, won’t use mercury or other toxic metals to fill cavities with, doesn’t push fluroide treatments, etc. Anyways, back to the topic at hand. When I first heard this I was pretty dang shocked, and then I got pretty dang mad. I mean who wants to have a messed up mouth for the rest of their natural life? Plus, did that mean I went through all that horrible pain with braces for nothing?! The good news is that the dentist said I could get a special mouth guard to sleep in at night that would relax my jaw, thus allowing me to function like a normal individual. So yesterday I got the impression for the mouth guard, which I should be getting next Friday. All I can say is, that it had better work or else I’m going to get very very upset (and you know what happens when I get very very upset ;) ).
After the dentist yesterday, we had to go over the hospital to see my grandma, who had to go there late Wednesday night. For those of you who don’t know, she’s battling breast cancer, and was supposed to have a routine procedure Wednesday to get rid of some fluid on her lungs. However, the procedure didn’t go as planned. She started coughing up blood and got very breathless. Thursday, they got some blood clots off of her lungs, but she is still in pretty bad shape. She is extremely weak, can hardly eat or talk because she is so breathless, and just really needs your prayers right now. As far as I know, she’ll be staying in the hospital for the rest of the weekend, and I have no idea when she’ll be going home. I’ll keep you updated....
In case you were wondering, this dentist is not your average conventional dentist. He’s a biological dentist (and a certified orthodontist as well) that doesn’t push x-rays down your throat every two seconds, won’t use mercury or other toxic metals to fill cavities with, doesn’t push fluroide treatments, etc. Anyways, back to the topic at hand. When I first heard this I was pretty dang shocked, and then I got pretty dang mad. I mean who wants to have a messed up mouth for the rest of their natural life? Plus, did that mean I went through all that horrible pain with braces for nothing?! The good news is that the dentist said I could get a special mouth guard to sleep in at night that would relax my jaw, thus allowing me to function like a normal individual. So yesterday I got the impression for the mouth guard, which I should be getting next Friday. All I can say is, that it had better work or else I’m going to get very very upset (and you know what happens when I get very very upset ;) ).
After the dentist yesterday, we had to go over the hospital to see my grandma, who had to go there late Wednesday night. For those of you who don’t know, she’s battling breast cancer, and was supposed to have a routine procedure Wednesday to get rid of some fluid on her lungs. However, the procedure didn’t go as planned. She started coughing up blood and got very breathless. Thursday, they got some blood clots off of her lungs, but she is still in pretty bad shape. She is extremely weak, can hardly eat or talk because she is so breathless, and just really needs your prayers right now. As far as I know, she’ll be staying in the hospital for the rest of the weekend, and I have no idea when she’ll be going home. I’ll keep you updated....
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Finally Moved
It's me again, and I'm finally here in my new house. I must say it's been a crazy last few weeks, and there are so many things I could write about that they probably won't fit all in one blog. Well they might, but then you'd still be reading two weeks from now and I really don't want to mess up your life like that. Sooo here is just some of what's been going on...
We left town last Tuesday, the 28th, and all four of us (plus one extremely annoyed, terrified, wide-eyed cat) arrived that evening at my grandparents house. We planned to close on the house the next day, and the movers were going to be bringing our things that Thursday the 30th. So the next day my mom and I set off to closing. I should have know something would have to go wrong...
As we set off, I started feeling kind of funny. I kind of felt like something was stuck in my throat. I shrugged it off, assuring myself that it was nothing, I was fine, and I wasn't going to let any dumb physical ailment ruin this momentous occasion. We got inside the room for the closing, and my throat wasn't getting any better. It started to feel like someone had shoved a knife down there while attempting to strangle me at the same time. On top of it all, my chest suddenly started feeling tight. I gulped rather loudly, and kept telling myself not panic. (I'm rather prone to panic attacks if you didn't know that already). In the meantime, there was really nothing I could about my problem. I was right in the middle of a huge legal event, if I complained to my mom about it she'd probably kill me (or get ticked at any rate), and if I ran out of the room everyone might freak out or call an ambulance or something and then I would be so embarrassed I'd have to move all over again. So I just stayed put and hoped the symptoms would go away....
They didn't. It didn't help matters that after the meeting our realtor and a few other people kept talking to me, and it's hard to smile back and act like you're in a good mood when you feel like all the air is being sucked out of your lungs (a slight exaggeration there, but I did feel pretty dang bad). When we finally got out of there, I told my mom, and then started pacing up and down the sidewalk outside the building while we waited for my grandpa to come pick us up (the wild, rampant pacing didn't really help the symptoms any.) My mom just told me to calm down, that she was sure it was nothing, and that there was no way it could be anything serious. However, I don't think anything she said could have phased me at this point. My throat and chest felt so tight I was afraid I'd stop breathing or something, almost die, and then ruin the entire move for everyone. Well, by the time my grandpa got there I was feeling a little better, and several hours later my symptoms finally vanished. But never fear. They didn't leave me alone for long....
The next night I decided to have a great, big bowl of chocolate ice cream. A few minutes later, the strange tightness returned, I got panicky again, and then something clicked in my brain. The day before when I had had my first attack, I had just eaten some strawberry yogurt. Aha. I had a dairy allergy. At first I was so relieved that it was just an allergy and not some serious disease that I was almost happy. Then it hit me. No more ice cream. No more yogurt. No more butter. No more cheese pizza....The more I thought about this the more depressed I got and was nearly on the verge of a panic attack again just at the thought of not being able to eat all that great food. I'd always been able to eat those foods, so I figured that I must have simply developed the allergy from eating too much of them. Yep that's just my luck for you....
So now yours truly is stuck without half of her favorite foods, and is pretty ticked off at these moving people because she can't find her awesome Bible with her name on it that she really really loves. If I don't find my Bible soon, I'm gonna kill those packers! (ahhh irony). ;) I am pretty upset about it, but hey. It's bound to turn up some time. Soo that's just a small (negative) taste of all the crazy things that have been going on here lately. Luckily there have a lot more good things than bad going on. I love our new house, our new neighborhood, the people I've met so far, the town,....basically it's all amazing so far. ;) I also tried out a new youth group yesterday (which was really really awesome) and on Friday I think I'm going to check out a possible dance school (in case you didn't know already I'm getting back into the wonderful, drama-filled world of ballet ;) ). Oh and I have to go to the dentist Friday as well because....well that's really a whole 'nother story I'll have to tell you later. ;)
We left town last Tuesday, the 28th, and all four of us (plus one extremely annoyed, terrified, wide-eyed cat) arrived that evening at my grandparents house. We planned to close on the house the next day, and the movers were going to be bringing our things that Thursday the 30th. So the next day my mom and I set off to closing. I should have know something would have to go wrong...
As we set off, I started feeling kind of funny. I kind of felt like something was stuck in my throat. I shrugged it off, assuring myself that it was nothing, I was fine, and I wasn't going to let any dumb physical ailment ruin this momentous occasion. We got inside the room for the closing, and my throat wasn't getting any better. It started to feel like someone had shoved a knife down there while attempting to strangle me at the same time. On top of it all, my chest suddenly started feeling tight. I gulped rather loudly, and kept telling myself not panic. (I'm rather prone to panic attacks if you didn't know that already). In the meantime, there was really nothing I could about my problem. I was right in the middle of a huge legal event, if I complained to my mom about it she'd probably kill me (or get ticked at any rate), and if I ran out of the room everyone might freak out or call an ambulance or something and then I would be so embarrassed I'd have to move all over again. So I just stayed put and hoped the symptoms would go away....
They didn't. It didn't help matters that after the meeting our realtor and a few other people kept talking to me, and it's hard to smile back and act like you're in a good mood when you feel like all the air is being sucked out of your lungs (a slight exaggeration there, but I did feel pretty dang bad). When we finally got out of there, I told my mom, and then started pacing up and down the sidewalk outside the building while we waited for my grandpa to come pick us up (the wild, rampant pacing didn't really help the symptoms any.) My mom just told me to calm down, that she was sure it was nothing, and that there was no way it could be anything serious. However, I don't think anything she said could have phased me at this point. My throat and chest felt so tight I was afraid I'd stop breathing or something, almost die, and then ruin the entire move for everyone. Well, by the time my grandpa got there I was feeling a little better, and several hours later my symptoms finally vanished. But never fear. They didn't leave me alone for long....
The next night I decided to have a great, big bowl of chocolate ice cream. A few minutes later, the strange tightness returned, I got panicky again, and then something clicked in my brain. The day before when I had had my first attack, I had just eaten some strawberry yogurt. Aha. I had a dairy allergy. At first I was so relieved that it was just an allergy and not some serious disease that I was almost happy. Then it hit me. No more ice cream. No more yogurt. No more butter. No more cheese pizza....The more I thought about this the more depressed I got and was nearly on the verge of a panic attack again just at the thought of not being able to eat all that great food. I'd always been able to eat those foods, so I figured that I must have simply developed the allergy from eating too much of them. Yep that's just my luck for you....
So now yours truly is stuck without half of her favorite foods, and is pretty ticked off at these moving people because she can't find her awesome Bible with her name on it that she really really loves. If I don't find my Bible soon, I'm gonna kill those packers! (ahhh irony). ;) I am pretty upset about it, but hey. It's bound to turn up some time. Soo that's just a small (negative) taste of all the crazy things that have been going on here lately. Luckily there have a lot more good things than bad going on. I love our new house, our new neighborhood, the people I've met so far, the town,....basically it's all amazing so far. ;) I also tried out a new youth group yesterday (which was really really awesome) and on Friday I think I'm going to check out a possible dance school (in case you didn't know already I'm getting back into the wonderful, drama-filled world of ballet ;) ). Oh and I have to go to the dentist Friday as well because....well that's really a whole 'nother story I'll have to tell you later. ;)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
New Harry Potter Movie
I saw the new Harry Potter movie the other day, and I must say it was amazing. (And for me it takes a lot for a movie to be amazing). If you haven’t seen it yet but are planning on seeing it, then I’d advise you not to read the last paragraph because there is a spoiler in it (I just don’t want to be held liable here.)...
Before I launch into the review, I thought I’d make a small note about the quality of the previews shown before the movie. Nothing but crap. And no, I’m not talking about quality of the previews themselves, but the quality of the movies being previewed. It seems like previews these days feature at least two really dumb looking animated movies, a couple of action movies (aka movies in which people run around getting their heads blown off and blowing off other peoples’ heads, and a few others that looked either inappropriate and disgusting or just plain stupid. I mean movie producers are really running out of ideas when they decide to make a movie out of the children’s book Where the Wild Things Are. Don’t get me wrong; I loved that book as a kid. But that sure doesn’t mean I want to see a movie about it...Anyways, moving on to the review...
In this movie, Harry is back at Hogwarts for his sixth year (even though something worse happens to Harry every year he goes to Hogwarts, the poor guy still goes back ;) ). The movie focuses on Dumbeldore (the headmaster of Hogwarts) and Harry exploring the past of Voldemort (the evil guy in case you’re really that out of current events) and attempting to discover what makes Voldemort so powerful. It also centers on Harry’s strange discovery of an old potion book signed "The Half-Blood Prince." (The title of the movie of course). Not all of the movie is so stern and grim, however. Romance is in the air at Hogwarts, and some of the "sticky" relationship situations had me in stitches.
Overall, the movie followed closely to the book, but not enough to where people who read the book would become bored with it (aka the movie threw in a lot of fresh lines and scenes that weren’t in the book). The special effects were amazing, the acting was the best I’ve ever seen it (though I guess the Harry Potter actors have no excuse for not being completely in character by now), the movie was serious, yet had plenty of lighthearted moments so as to ensure you weren’t totally depressed, and the ending scene (in which the students honored a recently deceased Dumbeldore) was so moving it had me in tears. (Not that it takes a lot to get me in tears, but oh well...) The only bad part? They did leave a few things out, and a few parts weren't clarified enough. But hey, that book's a tome, plus they can't go into detail explaining every single thing or else it'd get pretty dang boring. The bottom line is, you need to go see this movie if you haven’t already. GO NOW! I give it 4 out of 5 stars (excellent coming from a harsh critic like myself). All I have left to say is bring on the next movie! (I’ll be a legal adult when the next one comes out. How amazing is that).....
Later
Before I launch into the review, I thought I’d make a small note about the quality of the previews shown before the movie. Nothing but crap. And no, I’m not talking about quality of the previews themselves, but the quality of the movies being previewed. It seems like previews these days feature at least two really dumb looking animated movies, a couple of action movies (aka movies in which people run around getting their heads blown off and blowing off other peoples’ heads, and a few others that looked either inappropriate and disgusting or just plain stupid. I mean movie producers are really running out of ideas when they decide to make a movie out of the children’s book Where the Wild Things Are. Don’t get me wrong; I loved that book as a kid. But that sure doesn’t mean I want to see a movie about it...Anyways, moving on to the review...
In this movie, Harry is back at Hogwarts for his sixth year (even though something worse happens to Harry every year he goes to Hogwarts, the poor guy still goes back ;) ). The movie focuses on Dumbeldore (the headmaster of Hogwarts) and Harry exploring the past of Voldemort (the evil guy in case you’re really that out of current events) and attempting to discover what makes Voldemort so powerful. It also centers on Harry’s strange discovery of an old potion book signed "The Half-Blood Prince." (The title of the movie of course). Not all of the movie is so stern and grim, however. Romance is in the air at Hogwarts, and some of the "sticky" relationship situations had me in stitches.
Overall, the movie followed closely to the book, but not enough to where people who read the book would become bored with it (aka the movie threw in a lot of fresh lines and scenes that weren’t in the book). The special effects were amazing, the acting was the best I’ve ever seen it (though I guess the Harry Potter actors have no excuse for not being completely in character by now), the movie was serious, yet had plenty of lighthearted moments so as to ensure you weren’t totally depressed, and the ending scene (in which the students honored a recently deceased Dumbeldore) was so moving it had me in tears. (Not that it takes a lot to get me in tears, but oh well...) The only bad part? They did leave a few things out, and a few parts weren't clarified enough. But hey, that book's a tome, plus they can't go into detail explaining every single thing or else it'd get pretty dang boring. The bottom line is, you need to go see this movie if you haven’t already. GO NOW! I give it 4 out of 5 stars (excellent coming from a harsh critic like myself). All I have left to say is bring on the next movie! (I’ll be a legal adult when the next one comes out. How amazing is that).....
Later
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Moving = Chaotic
Yep this week has been pretty crazy so far. Every day we've had to pack books, pack books, and pack some more books. I mean we have over about 2 thousand of them, so I never really expected it to be a walk in the park. I just never expected it to be this tiring. You start out thinking, "Oh yeah. This'll be no problem! I can pack 10 boxes in one sitting easily!"....Then, 30 minutes and two boxes later, you're sweating like a dog, about to drop books on anybody's head who gets in your way, and too exhausted to move a finger....(exaggeration, but still. it's tiring).
Besides that, we have to pack even more of our belongings (like DVD's, CD's, and other such things) plus Wednesday we had to have a cleaning marathon because someone called about seeing the house Thursday (they came this morning as a matter of fact). Soo I had to rouse myself out of bed at the terribly early hour of 8:00, clean my room, dust my room (dust was flying everywhere I can assure you), clean my bathroom (Trust me. You don't want the details.), clean spots off the kitchen floor, (by myself I'll have you know), plus make the family room look spotless (aka make it look like no one truly human has ever set foot there). So basically between all that, studying for the impending ACT, and running miscellaneous errands and visiting with miscellenaous people, my life is pretty tiring right now. But hey, it's all worth it. I am extremely excited about this move, and I think it's gonna be awesome. Soo I guess I can tough it out for a few more days (though the rising at 8 AM thing is really not working out for me....)
Later
Besides that, we have to pack even more of our belongings (like DVD's, CD's, and other such things) plus Wednesday we had to have a cleaning marathon because someone called about seeing the house Thursday (they came this morning as a matter of fact). Soo I had to rouse myself out of bed at the terribly early hour of 8:00, clean my room, dust my room (dust was flying everywhere I can assure you), clean my bathroom (Trust me. You don't want the details.), clean spots off the kitchen floor, (by myself I'll have you know), plus make the family room look spotless (aka make it look like no one truly human has ever set foot there). So basically between all that, studying for the impending ACT, and running miscellaneous errands and visiting with miscellenaous people, my life is pretty tiring right now. But hey, it's all worth it. I am extremely excited about this move, and I think it's gonna be awesome. Soo I guess I can tough it out for a few more days (though the rising at 8 AM thing is really not working out for me....)
Later
Monday, July 13, 2009
My Grandma.....
...is not doing that great. She just started on some new chemotherapy, (which is supposed to be some really powerful stuff) to fight her breast cancer. However, the chemotherapy is basically killing her. It's giving her these great big sores in her mouth, which means she can't eat. She's already weak enough, and having no solid food is definitely not helping matters. It's a really scary thought that many cancer patients die from malnutrition because the chemotherapy prevents them from eating. Ironic.
Not only can she hardly eat anything, but the chemo is also giving her almost unbearable stomach cramps, plus she still suffers from shortness of breath from the fluid around her lungs. She's supposed to be going back to the doctor this week, but who knows if that's going to help any. So basically she is really really in need of your prayers right now. Also please pray for my grandpa because, as you can imagine, this whole experience is not good for him either. It's just a really scary time for all of us. After losing my dad we really don't want to lose someone else so soon...So thanks for your prayers...
Not only can she hardly eat anything, but the chemo is also giving her almost unbearable stomach cramps, plus she still suffers from shortness of breath from the fluid around her lungs. She's supposed to be going back to the doctor this week, but who knows if that's going to help any. So basically she is really really in need of your prayers right now. Also please pray for my grandpa because, as you can imagine, this whole experience is not good for him either. It's just a really scary time for all of us. After losing my dad we really don't want to lose someone else so soon...So thanks for your prayers...
Saturday, July 11, 2009
I Can't Believe....
...that we’re moving in less than three weeks. The days themselves are creeping by, but when I really stop to think about it, I can’t believe we’re already this far along. It seems like yesterday when we were just discussing moving as a possibility. *sigh*
....that I can actually drive a car. Never mind that I’ve been doing it for over a year and a half, it still seems too awesome to be true that I am really capable of operating one of those things. Talk about a great feeling!
....that Michael Jackson made the front page (and I mean front page) of my grandparents’ newspaper two days in a row.
....that I haven’t eaten a bowl of chocolate ice cream in a month. For me, (the world’s biggest chocolate ice cream fan) that is astounding!
....that people occasionally still ask me if I ever fight with my brothers. *sigh* If they’d spend a few days at my house and live with what I have to live with, then they’d get the picture. ;)
....that I’m going to college in two years. I was just looking at some old stuff from 6th grade the other day and it feels just like yesterday. I promise you.
....that everything is so freaking expensive.
....that people think diving into deep water is fun.
....that some people freak out over the president killing a fly but don’t say a word about the millions of babies killed every year.
...that you’re reading this....;) haha just kidding. What would I do without you to read my many rants???
....that I can actually drive a car. Never mind that I’ve been doing it for over a year and a half, it still seems too awesome to be true that I am really capable of operating one of those things. Talk about a great feeling!
....that Michael Jackson made the front page (and I mean front page) of my grandparents’ newspaper two days in a row.
....that I haven’t eaten a bowl of chocolate ice cream in a month. For me, (the world’s biggest chocolate ice cream fan) that is astounding!
....that people occasionally still ask me if I ever fight with my brothers. *sigh* If they’d spend a few days at my house and live with what I have to live with, then they’d get the picture. ;)
....that I’m going to college in two years. I was just looking at some old stuff from 6th grade the other day and it feels just like yesterday. I promise you.
....that everything is so freaking expensive.
....that people think diving into deep water is fun.
....that some people freak out over the president killing a fly but don’t say a word about the millions of babies killed every year.
...that you’re reading this....;) haha just kidding. What would I do without you to read my many rants???
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Trailers
Sorry, I just can’t resist posting the teaser trailer for the latest Twilight movie (New Moon). In case you haven’t heard of Twilight (which probably means you’ve been living under a rock or something), it’s basically about a normal girl, named Bella, who falls in love with a vampire. The plot gets a bit more complicated with things involving werewolves and such, but that’s the basic premise.
No, it’s not realistic (duh) and sometimes it does get a little too much. I mean this girl is over the top obsessed with a freaking vampire. When he leaves (only temporarily of course) in the second book, she basically loses it and spends her life moping around like a zombie. Yeah, that gets kind of annoying. And yes the first movie had its faults. The girl who plays Bella is not extremely likeable and is about as warm as an ice cube. Plus she doesn’t seem surprised to discover that her boyfriend is a vampire. But hey, the books are entertaining and interesting and I enjoy them (as well as the movie). Pure escapism. I am also posting the trailer for the new Harry Potter movie because (yet again) I just couldn’t resist. Twilight’s good and all, but it just can’t beat Harry. ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYBF3HKzrmE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnooUEuyn_M
Well, got to run now. Later.
No, it’s not realistic (duh) and sometimes it does get a little too much. I mean this girl is over the top obsessed with a freaking vampire. When he leaves (only temporarily of course) in the second book, she basically loses it and spends her life moping around like a zombie. Yeah, that gets kind of annoying. And yes the first movie had its faults. The girl who plays Bella is not extremely likeable and is about as warm as an ice cube. Plus she doesn’t seem surprised to discover that her boyfriend is a vampire. But hey, the books are entertaining and interesting and I enjoy them (as well as the movie). Pure escapism. I am also posting the trailer for the new Harry Potter movie because (yet again) I just couldn’t resist. Twilight’s good and all, but it just can’t beat Harry. ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYBF3HKzrmE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnooUEuyn_M
Well, got to run now. Later.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Weekend
Hope everyone had/is having a great fourth of July weekend. Mine has been pretty good, even though we didn't do anything much. We've actually never done much for the fourth. Our idea of doing a lot on the fourth is sitting inside our house listening to the sound of popping fireworks....Anyways, I spent Friday night at my friend's house which was pretty awesome (I got to hold a rabbit for the first time ever. no joke. They have the funniest noses...), and then Saturday morning we went to something her town was having on the fourth called "The Big Day." Of course there wasn't really anything "big" about it, but it was pretty cute and we had a good time anyways. ;)
As to the moving process, things are going pretty well except I get more overwhelmed the more I think about how much stuff I have to pack. Whenever we mentioned moving before I always thought of it as a shadowy event happening wayy off in the misty future. But now it's REALLY HAPPENING in a matter of weeks. Kind of scary. Especially considering the fact we have to worry about our poor cat crammed in a cage for six hours. She is absolutely going to kill us for doing that to her. She was mad enough when we went away on our last trip so long (she was apparently trying to pull a little refusal to eat stunt on us). *sigh* Oh well. Guess she'll just have to get over it....
As to my grandmas, no updates on them at the moment. As far as I know everything's about the same. So continued prayers would be wonderful. Thanks! ;)
Later
As to the moving process, things are going pretty well except I get more overwhelmed the more I think about how much stuff I have to pack. Whenever we mentioned moving before I always thought of it as a shadowy event happening wayy off in the misty future. But now it's REALLY HAPPENING in a matter of weeks. Kind of scary. Especially considering the fact we have to worry about our poor cat crammed in a cage for six hours. She is absolutely going to kill us for doing that to her. She was mad enough when we went away on our last trip so long (she was apparently trying to pull a little refusal to eat stunt on us). *sigh* Oh well. Guess she'll just have to get over it....
As to my grandmas, no updates on them at the moment. As far as I know everything's about the same. So continued prayers would be wonderful. Thanks! ;)
Later
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Grace
I'd heard a lot about the book What's So Amazing About Grace , and when I saw it in my grandfather's study the other week I decided I might as well go ahead and read it. It is a fantastic book. I felt very moved and challenged by it, and the concept of God's grace never ceases to amaze me....
One particular thing really jumped out at me though. Philip Yancey (the author) noted how Jesus says God will not forgive our sins if we do not forgive others' sins against us. I'd heard and read this before, of course, but for some reason I hadn't really thought about it much before and it really hit me. Probably because there are a few people right now who I'm finding it extremely hard to deal with and forgive. It's hard to forgive someone who keeps hurting and ignoring you even when you're trying your best to make things right, especially when you weren't the one who did anything wrong in the first place. Basically there a few (but thank goodness no more than that) people whose throats I want to throttle at this moment. As the book noted, grace goes against all our instincts. We want to do what's fair and right. We want to hurt others just as much as they hurt us because they deserve it. That's why grace is so earthshaking. None of us deserve forgiveness and all of us deserve to be hurt. So if God can forgive me for all the terrible things I've done, then I should be able to forgive people for what they've done, which amounts to practically nothing compared to all that I've done wrong to God.
Very tough stuff. Forgiveness can be hard. But forgiving doesn't mean we have to let people walk all over us (as the book noted). We can forgive people without condoning their actions toward us or making them think what they did to us was okay. It's still very hard to do though. It's much more appealing to scream and rave at that person and hate them (and let them know it too). I have to look at it this way. If God has forgiven me and still loves me ,then surely. with God's help, I can try to do the same for others....
Bottom line: read this book. It's very eye opening and Philip Yancey is a great author. So what are you waiting for? Go read it! ;)
One particular thing really jumped out at me though. Philip Yancey (the author) noted how Jesus says God will not forgive our sins if we do not forgive others' sins against us. I'd heard and read this before, of course, but for some reason I hadn't really thought about it much before and it really hit me. Probably because there are a few people right now who I'm finding it extremely hard to deal with and forgive. It's hard to forgive someone who keeps hurting and ignoring you even when you're trying your best to make things right, especially when you weren't the one who did anything wrong in the first place. Basically there a few (but thank goodness no more than that) people whose throats I want to throttle at this moment. As the book noted, grace goes against all our instincts. We want to do what's fair and right. We want to hurt others just as much as they hurt us because they deserve it. That's why grace is so earthshaking. None of us deserve forgiveness and all of us deserve to be hurt. So if God can forgive me for all the terrible things I've done, then I should be able to forgive people for what they've done, which amounts to practically nothing compared to all that I've done wrong to God.
Very tough stuff. Forgiveness can be hard. But forgiving doesn't mean we have to let people walk all over us (as the book noted). We can forgive people without condoning their actions toward us or making them think what they did to us was okay. It's still very hard to do though. It's much more appealing to scream and rave at that person and hate them (and let them know it too). I have to look at it this way. If God has forgiven me and still loves me ,then surely. with God's help, I can try to do the same for others....
Bottom line: read this book. It's very eye opening and Philip Yancey is a great author. So what are you waiting for? Go read it! ;)
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Prayers
I would appreciate some prayer for both of my grandmas, who are not in the best of health right now....My grandma on my mom's side (which is the grandma I'll be living near soon) is battling breast cancer, and she is really weak a lot of the time, has hardly any appetite, and has a lot of fluid collected around her lungs. Her old medicine wasn't working at all, so her doctor just put her on a new, more powerful medicine that is supposed to be really good. So I guess we will just have to wait and see about that....
My other grandma is just having all kinds of problems and I'm not even entirely sure what exactly is wrong with her. She's in some kind of assistance living place at the moment, but recently she was in the hospital with a bad bladder infection and some other bad problems. (Like I said, I'm not entirely sure what exactly is wrong with her). I just know that she never really has taken very good care of herself, and doesn't even seem to try to improve her health or make an attempt to get better. So she is definitely in need of some prayer as is some other not so great things going on down there at the moment....Thanks very much.
Well today marks the start of my least favorite month: July. If you're not doing anything exciting, then it quickly turns into a draggy, extremely hot, boring month in which you just lay around outside and watch cars go down the street. Luckily for me, however, this month is going to be extremely busy what with moving and on. I'll definitely keep you updated on how that all goes....
My other grandma is just having all kinds of problems and I'm not even entirely sure what exactly is wrong with her. She's in some kind of assistance living place at the moment, but recently she was in the hospital with a bad bladder infection and some other bad problems. (Like I said, I'm not entirely sure what exactly is wrong with her). I just know that she never really has taken very good care of herself, and doesn't even seem to try to improve her health or make an attempt to get better. So she is definitely in need of some prayer as is some other not so great things going on down there at the moment....Thanks very much.
Well today marks the start of my least favorite month: July. If you're not doing anything exciting, then it quickly turns into a draggy, extremely hot, boring month in which you just lay around outside and watch cars go down the street. Luckily for me, however, this month is going to be extremely busy what with moving and on. I'll definitely keep you updated on how that all goes....
Monday, June 29, 2009
Craziness
Wow it has been a while and I'm very sorry about that. I'm not normally such a pathetic blogger. ;) Things have just been really crazy lately, so I just haven't had time to post (not to mention I was just too lazy). However, I am going to try to keep up with it over the summer since some interesting things should be happening. So here's what's been going on lately....
During the first part of June nothing really momentous happened, but on the 19th we headed up to see my grandparents and pick out our new house. The ride up there was considerably better than our trip up there last month (that trip was so awful almost nothing could top it...) but the night we got there was not too fun for me. For one thing I had two big canker sores on my tongue that simply would not go away and that were very painful. Second, my grandparents insisted driving us around and showing us the outsides of some houses for sale in the area. I probably would have enjoyed this another time, but at the moment I was very tired, a bit nauseated from being in the car too long, my tongue was burning, and I was ticked off and ready to forget houses all together. By the time we got back to the house I was feeling even worse, and I started having a freaky panic attack. Basically my lips started burning (from all the salt I had eaten previously probably) my skin felt hot all over my body, and I was convinced I had something terribly wrong with me. (welcome to the world of a hypochondriac). Anyways, after walking around in a state of panic for a while, my grandmother recommended I try rinsing my mouth in saltwater, which I did. Thank heavens it helped my tongue feel much better, and thanks to that it's almost gone as we speak. ;) Anyways that wasn't the end of me feeling like crap however....
The next day I was tired. I mean dead, bone tired. Tired enough to think I had some kind of freaky fatigue disease or something. All day long I just wanted to sleep, I lay on the couch every occasion that I could, and my whole head throbbed with pure exhaustion. Not to mention I was worried sick that I was sick (no pun intended). Anyways, I went to bed early, and woke up the next morning feeling more energetic. However, my problems were not over. For some reason every single muscle in my body ached. My back ached, my legs ached, my arms ached, you name it and it ached. I had no idea why at the time, (though I'm pretty sure now it was from stretching out excessively) so this was another chance for me to worry that I had some kind of wierd, horrible disease. Luckily I got to attend a musical thing at the local college, which was very professional and enertaining, which took my mind off my problems somewhat. However I felt like some kind of old lady with back problems the entire day. (Trust me, no 16-year-old wants to feel like an old lady with back problems...)
Thank heavens the next day I was all cured, which was good because the next day (and that whole week) proved to be very busy. We went house hunting every single day with our realtor-- a very nice, elderly man who seemed to have more energy than I do on a good day. At first the house hunting was very enjoyable. However, by the last day I never wanted to see another house again, never wanted to ride in the back of a car again, and never wanted to hear our realtor tell off the wall stories about his every day life again. But the good news is we found an amazing house, which we will be moving into July 30th. So yes this month is going to be CRAZY getting ready to move and all....
The rest of the weekend was awesome as my cousins and aunt and uncle visited for a few days. We played quite a few bizarre games, I got whopped in the arm with a soccer ball a few times, I almost fainted from hypoglycemia when it was 3 in the afternoon, I hadn't had lunch yet, and our waitress was being so lazy and slow we all wanted to strangle her, and other such things. So all in all it was a very fun, interesting time. ;)
Later
During the first part of June nothing really momentous happened, but on the 19th we headed up to see my grandparents and pick out our new house. The ride up there was considerably better than our trip up there last month (that trip was so awful almost nothing could top it...) but the night we got there was not too fun for me. For one thing I had two big canker sores on my tongue that simply would not go away and that were very painful. Second, my grandparents insisted driving us around and showing us the outsides of some houses for sale in the area. I probably would have enjoyed this another time, but at the moment I was very tired, a bit nauseated from being in the car too long, my tongue was burning, and I was ticked off and ready to forget houses all together. By the time we got back to the house I was feeling even worse, and I started having a freaky panic attack. Basically my lips started burning (from all the salt I had eaten previously probably) my skin felt hot all over my body, and I was convinced I had something terribly wrong with me. (welcome to the world of a hypochondriac). Anyways, after walking around in a state of panic for a while, my grandmother recommended I try rinsing my mouth in saltwater, which I did. Thank heavens it helped my tongue feel much better, and thanks to that it's almost gone as we speak. ;) Anyways that wasn't the end of me feeling like crap however....
The next day I was tired. I mean dead, bone tired. Tired enough to think I had some kind of freaky fatigue disease or something. All day long I just wanted to sleep, I lay on the couch every occasion that I could, and my whole head throbbed with pure exhaustion. Not to mention I was worried sick that I was sick (no pun intended). Anyways, I went to bed early, and woke up the next morning feeling more energetic. However, my problems were not over. For some reason every single muscle in my body ached. My back ached, my legs ached, my arms ached, you name it and it ached. I had no idea why at the time, (though I'm pretty sure now it was from stretching out excessively) so this was another chance for me to worry that I had some kind of wierd, horrible disease. Luckily I got to attend a musical thing at the local college, which was very professional and enertaining, which took my mind off my problems somewhat. However I felt like some kind of old lady with back problems the entire day. (Trust me, no 16-year-old wants to feel like an old lady with back problems...)
Thank heavens the next day I was all cured, which was good because the next day (and that whole week) proved to be very busy. We went house hunting every single day with our realtor-- a very nice, elderly man who seemed to have more energy than I do on a good day. At first the house hunting was very enjoyable. However, by the last day I never wanted to see another house again, never wanted to ride in the back of a car again, and never wanted to hear our realtor tell off the wall stories about his every day life again. But the good news is we found an amazing house, which we will be moving into July 30th. So yes this month is going to be CRAZY getting ready to move and all....
The rest of the weekend was awesome as my cousins and aunt and uncle visited for a few days. We played quite a few bizarre games, I got whopped in the arm with a soccer ball a few times, I almost fainted from hypoglycemia when it was 3 in the afternoon, I hadn't had lunch yet, and our waitress was being so lazy and slow we all wanted to strangle her, and other such things. So all in all it was a very fun, interesting time. ;)
Later
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Another Summer Is Here
Yesterday was my last day of school, which means summer is here yet again. It's crazy cause it feels like it was only yesterday last summer started. Well I'm not quite done with Algebra 2 yet (it's such a long course that who knows exactly when I'll finish it) and I'll have to spend all summer studying for the ACT (fun I know). But hey that's not too bad and since I'm done with everything else I'm happy =]. I was especially happy when I made an A on that end of year chemistry test I worked my butt off on, and that I made an A for the year in chemistry. I was seriously so happy that I almost cried and fainted at the same time...hahah joking but I was very very happy to say the least. Next year I might not be so happy cause I have to take physics, but hey, I'll worry about that next year....Speaking of next year I can't believe that I'll be a SENIOR.. I feel really old...haha. I'm taking an extra year before I go to college though because 1: I'm ahead a year, and 2: This past year has been so nightmarish and crazy that we need an extra year to get our thoughts together if you know what I mean...So I'm not actually going to go to college for two more years, but hey it'll come soon enough....;)
As to what I am doing this summer, here's what I know so far....This Saturday I'm probably going to a dance my homeschool group is doing (which can be pretty fun), and then the next several weeks I'll just be doing some random fun things and who knows what else really....Then in about 2-3 weeks, we're going to visit my grandparents and look at houses until we find one we want. No one's bought our house yet, but my mom says that we're moving anyways in July (hopefully) or August at the latest. So basically July's going to be one chaotic month (you know how moving is) and I'm not sure I'll have one second to breathe from when we get back from visiting my grandparents to when we actually get moved. But hey, it's so exciting that I'm okay with it. =] haha.
Well that's it for now. Later
As to what I am doing this summer, here's what I know so far....This Saturday I'm probably going to a dance my homeschool group is doing (which can be pretty fun), and then the next several weeks I'll just be doing some random fun things and who knows what else really....Then in about 2-3 weeks, we're going to visit my grandparents and look at houses until we find one we want. No one's bought our house yet, but my mom says that we're moving anyways in July (hopefully) or August at the latest. So basically July's going to be one chaotic month (you know how moving is) and I'm not sure I'll have one second to breathe from when we get back from visiting my grandparents to when we actually get moved. But hey, it's so exciting that I'm okay with it. =] haha.
Well that's it for now. Later
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Randomness
A few random things that have been going on....
*First of all I would appreciate prayer for my grandma. She's spending this week getting a whole lot of tests done on her heart, and tomorrow she's going to talk to her new doctor who's going to give her a second opinion on her heart problems. So prayer for healing for her would be great....
*Second, I'm incredibly stressed about school and ready for it to end. In case you didn't know this, when it comes to school I am the biggest perfectionist the world has ever seen. If I don't get an 100 on every test I freak out. If I get a B I might possibly go on a crying jag. If I get a C, well heaven help us cause I basically explode.....haha. I'm exaggerating a little, but I am HUGE perfectionist when it comes to grades. Especially now that I'm thinking really hard about college and stuff. I'm mainly stressed about my huge end of year chemistry test (which could determine whether I make an A this semester or not because it counts twice) which is going to cover the entire semester's worth of chemistry. So basically I've been studying so hard I've got chemistry seeping out of my skin. I'm taking it probably a week from Friday, so hopefully I'll have time to review all the material before then...I also have several big French tests, a lot of big math tests, a history tests, and probably some more tests that I'm not even aware of....*sigh* I NEED summer!
*Third, so no far no one has looked at our house yet, which is pretty discouraging considering how nice and big it is and what a beautiful location it's in. I've guess I've just got to be patient, but it's definitely hard to be....I would really appreciate prayer for this whole house selling situation as well, and prayer for us as we look at other options (like renting the house momentarily or something) if we can't sell it in a few months. *sigh* Why does everything have to be so darn complicated?
Well that's it for now. Later. ;)
*First of all I would appreciate prayer for my grandma. She's spending this week getting a whole lot of tests done on her heart, and tomorrow she's going to talk to her new doctor who's going to give her a second opinion on her heart problems. So prayer for healing for her would be great....
*Second, I'm incredibly stressed about school and ready for it to end. In case you didn't know this, when it comes to school I am the biggest perfectionist the world has ever seen. If I don't get an 100 on every test I freak out. If I get a B I might possibly go on a crying jag. If I get a C, well heaven help us cause I basically explode.....haha. I'm exaggerating a little, but I am HUGE perfectionist when it comes to grades. Especially now that I'm thinking really hard about college and stuff. I'm mainly stressed about my huge end of year chemistry test (which could determine whether I make an A this semester or not because it counts twice) which is going to cover the entire semester's worth of chemistry. So basically I've been studying so hard I've got chemistry seeping out of my skin. I'm taking it probably a week from Friday, so hopefully I'll have time to review all the material before then...I also have several big French tests, a lot of big math tests, a history tests, and probably some more tests that I'm not even aware of....*sigh* I NEED summer!
*Third, so no far no one has looked at our house yet, which is pretty discouraging considering how nice and big it is and what a beautiful location it's in. I've guess I've just got to be patient, but it's definitely hard to be....I would really appreciate prayer for this whole house selling situation as well, and prayer for us as we look at other options (like renting the house momentarily or something) if we can't sell it in a few months. *sigh* Why does everything have to be so darn complicated?
Well that's it for now. Later. ;)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The Trip- Part 2
After the insanely not fun trip up to my grandparents house (see "The Trip-Part 1") it was very great to finally get there. Normally when we're up there we don't have much to do and we just hang around and relax and stuff, but this time we had so much to do I hardly had time to breathe. The very next day I got to go look at one of my top college choices. I must say I was extremely nervous. After all, I'd never been on an offical college tour before so I had no idea what it would be like. To make a long story short I LOVED it. I fell in love with the campus the minute I walked on it. I had already heard a lot about this college since my grandpa, mom, aunt, and uncle all graduated from there (yep I think that's pretty darn awesome) but I didn't know it would be this great until I visited it. I loved my admissions counselor, the facilities looked great, and there was just a certain "feel" to the campus that I just can't describe. I just felt completely at home there. So yes I've basically decided (unless something drastic happens) that that's where I want to go to school. I almost didn't even want to go look at the other school I was supposed to look at the next day, but of course I did (and tell about that in a minute). Anyways the tour was really fun except I made a really dumb mistake. I decided to wear some brand new flat, formal shoes with nothing else on my feet. Big mistake. By the end of the tour I was basically hobbling around like an old woman, I had big blisters all over my feet, my heel was bleeding, and my feet kept sliding off every few seconds and I had to keep reaching down to adjust them. So yep that was my idiotic move of the day. Moving on....
That afternoon we went house hunting for the first time. It was pretty fun, but not quite as fun since we haven't sold our house yet (stupid bad market....). I liked the first two I saw (in the first one I could have my own bedroom and bathroom downstairs and the second had a really awesome basment) and enjoyed looking at a few others, but the end of the outing was not too fun for me. Basically the realtor decided just to drive us around in his car and show us the different communities, and toward the latter part of the trip I happened to be sitting in the middle of the back seat between my brothers. Now you may not know this about me but I am very prone to motion sickness. When I was little I actually threw up twice in the car...So as the realtor wound his way through curvy neighborhoods (very quickly I might add) I put my head down on my lap and tried to ignore my churning stomach. Not only was my stomach churning, but my head felt very nauseated and heavy from sleep deprivation. When we finally arrived back at my grandparents house, I bolted for the door, collapsed on the couch, and swore I wouldn't move or eat anything again for the next million years. That lasted for about 30 minutes. Then it was suppertime and I wasn't missing that....hahahaha.
The next day I went to visit the second college, which was still pretty nice. The admissions counselor was great, the tour was impressive and in depth, and it was generally a nice school. However, it just didn't have that feel to it like the other place there, and for some reason I just didn't feel at home there at all. It just didn't feel like the college for me. Plus they didn't let first semester freshmen have a car. Not that I have a car yet, but when I do get one (after working my butt off) I'd like to take it to college with me for my first semester thank you very much....;) So I've pretty much decided on the first one, though I'll probably end up applying to both (and another one too) just for kicks....;)
Anyways, that afternoon we went house hunting again (no, I didn't sit in the middle again and thus didn't feel sick) and we saw a few more nice houses. However, like I said before it's just not as fun house hunting when you haven't sold your own house yet....*sigh* What scared me though was that the realtor said once we sold our house we could look for 6-8 hours a day with him if we wanted to. I immediately thought, "No way am I spending 6-8 hours riding in your car and tromping through houses with you my friend...." Nice guy but heck no way. I'd pass out from exhaustion or get really irritable and start smashing windows or something....hahaha. Anyways I guess I'll worry about that when we actually sell our house....
The next day we got to visit with my uncle, aunt, and four of my cousins (which was super awesome) and then Sunday we just relaxed (finally). So all in all it was a fantastic trip and made me feel better about a lot of things that have been troubling me lately. So basically I feel a lot better about life right now and am pretty excited to see how things turn out with moving and all. ;)
Later
That afternoon we went house hunting for the first time. It was pretty fun, but not quite as fun since we haven't sold our house yet (stupid bad market....). I liked the first two I saw (in the first one I could have my own bedroom and bathroom downstairs and the second had a really awesome basment) and enjoyed looking at a few others, but the end of the outing was not too fun for me. Basically the realtor decided just to drive us around in his car and show us the different communities, and toward the latter part of the trip I happened to be sitting in the middle of the back seat between my brothers. Now you may not know this about me but I am very prone to motion sickness. When I was little I actually threw up twice in the car...So as the realtor wound his way through curvy neighborhoods (very quickly I might add) I put my head down on my lap and tried to ignore my churning stomach. Not only was my stomach churning, but my head felt very nauseated and heavy from sleep deprivation. When we finally arrived back at my grandparents house, I bolted for the door, collapsed on the couch, and swore I wouldn't move or eat anything again for the next million years. That lasted for about 30 minutes. Then it was suppertime and I wasn't missing that....hahahaha.
The next day I went to visit the second college, which was still pretty nice. The admissions counselor was great, the tour was impressive and in depth, and it was generally a nice school. However, it just didn't have that feel to it like the other place there, and for some reason I just didn't feel at home there at all. It just didn't feel like the college for me. Plus they didn't let first semester freshmen have a car. Not that I have a car yet, but when I do get one (after working my butt off) I'd like to take it to college with me for my first semester thank you very much....;) So I've pretty much decided on the first one, though I'll probably end up applying to both (and another one too) just for kicks....;)
Anyways, that afternoon we went house hunting again (no, I didn't sit in the middle again and thus didn't feel sick) and we saw a few more nice houses. However, like I said before it's just not as fun house hunting when you haven't sold your own house yet....*sigh* What scared me though was that the realtor said once we sold our house we could look for 6-8 hours a day with him if we wanted to. I immediately thought, "No way am I spending 6-8 hours riding in your car and tromping through houses with you my friend...." Nice guy but heck no way. I'd pass out from exhaustion or get really irritable and start smashing windows or something....hahaha. Anyways I guess I'll worry about that when we actually sell our house....
The next day we got to visit with my uncle, aunt, and four of my cousins (which was super awesome) and then Sunday we just relaxed (finally). So all in all it was a fantastic trip and made me feel better about a lot of things that have been troubling me lately. So basically I feel a lot better about life right now and am pretty excited to see how things turn out with moving and all. ;)
Later
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Trip- Part 1
We finally made it back from my grandparents house today, and I must say it was a very interesting (and very very fun) trip. However, the drive there wasn't so fun.....
First of all, as soon as we finally got everybody loaded in the van and had finally pulled out of the neighborhood after about an hour of everybody frantically running around the house and knocking over anyone in their way, my mom realized she had forgotten something. So back we headed toward our neighborhood. Thank heavens we were only about a mile down the road or I think we all would have been pretty dang upset. So as soon as we made it back home, my mom ran into the house to get the thing she forgot and my brother ran in to get something else he had forgotten as well. This left me and my other brother in the car with the side door open. Little did we know that leaving that side door open was a big mistake....Suddenly out of nowhere this huge black dog started running headlong towards the van. Now if you don't know this about me I am not a very big dog person. I don't mind observing them from a distance or maybe visiting with a friendly one who won't bark at me, but if a dog starts running headlong towards me I'm not going to be a very happy person. The dog stopped about a few feet from the van (and we were yelling at him the whole time to go away) and then the creature had the nerve to jump up in the van, trample on my brother's backpack and my mom's favorite pillow, and stamp on a whole roll of paper towels. Then he started making a beeline for my poor brother who was trapped in the back seat. By this time my mom had reemerged from the house. Boy was she mad. After all, no one tramples my mom's favorite pillow without paying for it. She burst out of the house and started pushing and hitting on the maniac dog while yelling at me to open the automatic door. Now I was in a big state of shock at this point in time, so it took me a minute to process this command. But pretty soon I caught on and pressed it, the dog jumped out and bounded the street, and my mom and brother reentered the van. My mom was pretty darn ticked to say the least. We all were actually. I mean what kind of owners would let their dog run around like that??....Anyways, our trip was already turning out bad and we hadn't even started yet. It just got worse from there....
About an hour down the road, a strange light started flashing on the van which read "Low Coolant". Now whenever a strange light flashes up like that you know something's wrong, so we all started freaking. I checked the van manual, and I discovered that if you had low coolant levels your engine could overheat. We weren't sure if that meant the van would explode killing us all right in the middle of the highway, but we sure knew it couldn't mean anything good. So we stopped at a service station and a guy named Chipmunk (yes his name really was Chipmunk) looked her over, said there was really nothing wrong with her but that he'd added some extra water just to be sure (I was a little confused about what that meant but whatever I guess), and said the engine should be fine as long as we didn't let it overheat. So basically we had sat there for 45 minutes to hear that the engine was fine. *sigh* So out we went again thinking that this trip couldn't get any worse....
As we went on, however, it did get worse. We ran into at least three rain storms so bad that you could hardly see the road ahead of you, and sat in two traffic jams because of road work and an accident. I think the fates were against us....haha. So yes we were not exactly the happiest people by the time we arrived (about an hour and a half late) in KY. But hey, we were just glad we made it. With all that bad stuff happening who knows what would have happened if the trip had been longer....
I'll tell what we actually did on the trip later. Trust me, the visit was much better than the drive there....;)
Later
First of all, as soon as we finally got everybody loaded in the van and had finally pulled out of the neighborhood after about an hour of everybody frantically running around the house and knocking over anyone in their way, my mom realized she had forgotten something. So back we headed toward our neighborhood. Thank heavens we were only about a mile down the road or I think we all would have been pretty dang upset. So as soon as we made it back home, my mom ran into the house to get the thing she forgot and my brother ran in to get something else he had forgotten as well. This left me and my other brother in the car with the side door open. Little did we know that leaving that side door open was a big mistake....Suddenly out of nowhere this huge black dog started running headlong towards the van. Now if you don't know this about me I am not a very big dog person. I don't mind observing them from a distance or maybe visiting with a friendly one who won't bark at me, but if a dog starts running headlong towards me I'm not going to be a very happy person. The dog stopped about a few feet from the van (and we were yelling at him the whole time to go away) and then the creature had the nerve to jump up in the van, trample on my brother's backpack and my mom's favorite pillow, and stamp on a whole roll of paper towels. Then he started making a beeline for my poor brother who was trapped in the back seat. By this time my mom had reemerged from the house. Boy was she mad. After all, no one tramples my mom's favorite pillow without paying for it. She burst out of the house and started pushing and hitting on the maniac dog while yelling at me to open the automatic door. Now I was in a big state of shock at this point in time, so it took me a minute to process this command. But pretty soon I caught on and pressed it, the dog jumped out and bounded the street, and my mom and brother reentered the van. My mom was pretty darn ticked to say the least. We all were actually. I mean what kind of owners would let their dog run around like that??....Anyways, our trip was already turning out bad and we hadn't even started yet. It just got worse from there....
About an hour down the road, a strange light started flashing on the van which read "Low Coolant". Now whenever a strange light flashes up like that you know something's wrong, so we all started freaking. I checked the van manual, and I discovered that if you had low coolant levels your engine could overheat. We weren't sure if that meant the van would explode killing us all right in the middle of the highway, but we sure knew it couldn't mean anything good. So we stopped at a service station and a guy named Chipmunk (yes his name really was Chipmunk) looked her over, said there was really nothing wrong with her but that he'd added some extra water just to be sure (I was a little confused about what that meant but whatever I guess), and said the engine should be fine as long as we didn't let it overheat. So basically we had sat there for 45 minutes to hear that the engine was fine. *sigh* So out we went again thinking that this trip couldn't get any worse....
As we went on, however, it did get worse. We ran into at least three rain storms so bad that you could hardly see the road ahead of you, and sat in two traffic jams because of road work and an accident. I think the fates were against us....haha. So yes we were not exactly the happiest people by the time we arrived (about an hour and a half late) in KY. But hey, we were just glad we made it. With all that bad stuff happening who knows what would have happened if the trip had been longer....
I'll tell what we actually did on the trip later. Trust me, the visit was much better than the drive there....;)
Later
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Out of Town
Tomorrow we are setting off yet another trip. The same place we always go. To see my grandparents....Even though we've been there so many times I still love going though. Not only do I get to see my grandparents, I also get my taste of the big city. haha. I would hate to live in the big city but I can't complain about the awesome restaurants, book stores, clothing stores, and all the other awesome places around. =] Also while we're there my uncle, aunt, and four of my cousins are coming up as well (which is the main reason we're going at this time) so that should be crazy and fun. ...haha. I would appreciate your prayers for a safe trip. ;) Also pray for me since I have to be in such close quarters with my brothers for a six hour car ride. I might need hospitilization after that....ha.
Later
Later
Monday, May 4, 2009
Retreats and Woods and Things...
This past weekend I went on a youth retreat with my friend's church, which I enjoyed immensely. Except for the part of almost killing myself in the woods....Okay I'm exaggerating a bit. It wasn't quite that bad (haha), but I'll explain in a minute....
First of all it was an in-town retreat, which I was very glad of. I don't understand why all these youth groups think they have to go hours away to have fun. Seriously is that long car ride really worth it?? Plus if I forgot to pack something or if I was having some kind of dire emergency home was just a few minutes away. I could get away from home and yet have it close if I really needed it. Best of both worlds. Okay end of that tangent...;)
Anyways, the whole weekend was themed around self-control, which was really good. I really needed to hear some of those things and now it's just a matter of actually applying them. Plus we got to stay in one of the girl's really nice house. It had an amazing basement (which I am so jealous of) with this awesome ping-pong and kitchenette and everything. Plus I actually got to sleep in a bed rather than on the floor in some sleeping bag which would probably result in me tearing up my back or catching my death of cold....NICE. haha. Anyways so that was all good. Then came the woods....
If you don't know this about me already, I hate (I repeat HATE) walking through the woods. I am find when it comes to sitting on a porch and staring at them from a distance, seeing them on TV, or reading about them. However, just don't expect me to go walking through them if I can help it. Not only did we have to walk through woods, we had to do this little obstacle course some of the leaders had set up. Another thing about me. I suck at obstacle courses. I'm scared of heights, climbing, woods, and getting scratched and having a horrible infection set in. So yeah this little woods "adventure" was simply not for me. But I had to do it of course. I mean I sure wasn't going to stand at the edge of the woods by myself for the entire time. I'm not that much of a wimp....haha. So anyways the course started out with all of us being hooked to this rope and going down into this little ditch like thing. Then you (and the person in front of you helped of course) had to hoist yourself up this little hill. I say "little", but it sure didn't seem little to me. I put my foot up there and immediately slipped and fell back down (yes I'm probably the klutz of the year). "I'm too short," I complained, hoping they'd let me get out of doing it....They didn't. So the guy behind me had to basically lift me up onto the embankment thing and then I grabbed my friend's (who was already on the top of the hill) hand with one hand and held onto a tree with the other for dear life and slowly got myself up. Yes I survived. But boy was it dang embarrassing. Everyone probably thought I was some hopeless wimp or something...But it wasn't over yet of course....
Later on in the course, (and by this time my back was covered with dirt from crawling under logs and such) we came upon something that almost made me cry. A tree. Yes of all things I had to climb a tree. At first I seriously considered demanding to be unhooked from the rope, but I decided I could at least give it a try. To make a long story short, I made it (though with a lot of help from the people behind and in front of me and not before getting my foot untangled from the rope and almost falling on my face.) So yes I did survive. But no nothing or nobody is going to get me to go in another obstacle course in the woods. No WAY. But the rest of the trip was pretty dang awesome and I'm very very glad that I went. Basically it was worth having to climb that tree...;)
Later
First of all it was an in-town retreat, which I was very glad of. I don't understand why all these youth groups think they have to go hours away to have fun. Seriously is that long car ride really worth it?? Plus if I forgot to pack something or if I was having some kind of dire emergency home was just a few minutes away. I could get away from home and yet have it close if I really needed it. Best of both worlds. Okay end of that tangent...;)
Anyways, the whole weekend was themed around self-control, which was really good. I really needed to hear some of those things and now it's just a matter of actually applying them. Plus we got to stay in one of the girl's really nice house. It had an amazing basement (which I am so jealous of) with this awesome ping-pong and kitchenette and everything. Plus I actually got to sleep in a bed rather than on the floor in some sleeping bag which would probably result in me tearing up my back or catching my death of cold....NICE. haha. Anyways so that was all good. Then came the woods....
If you don't know this about me already, I hate (I repeat HATE) walking through the woods. I am find when it comes to sitting on a porch and staring at them from a distance, seeing them on TV, or reading about them. However, just don't expect me to go walking through them if I can help it. Not only did we have to walk through woods, we had to do this little obstacle course some of the leaders had set up. Another thing about me. I suck at obstacle courses. I'm scared of heights, climbing, woods, and getting scratched and having a horrible infection set in. So yeah this little woods "adventure" was simply not for me. But I had to do it of course. I mean I sure wasn't going to stand at the edge of the woods by myself for the entire time. I'm not that much of a wimp....haha. So anyways the course started out with all of us being hooked to this rope and going down into this little ditch like thing. Then you (and the person in front of you helped of course) had to hoist yourself up this little hill. I say "little", but it sure didn't seem little to me. I put my foot up there and immediately slipped and fell back down (yes I'm probably the klutz of the year). "I'm too short," I complained, hoping they'd let me get out of doing it....They didn't. So the guy behind me had to basically lift me up onto the embankment thing and then I grabbed my friend's (who was already on the top of the hill) hand with one hand and held onto a tree with the other for dear life and slowly got myself up. Yes I survived. But boy was it dang embarrassing. Everyone probably thought I was some hopeless wimp or something...But it wasn't over yet of course....
Later on in the course, (and by this time my back was covered with dirt from crawling under logs and such) we came upon something that almost made me cry. A tree. Yes of all things I had to climb a tree. At first I seriously considered demanding to be unhooked from the rope, but I decided I could at least give it a try. To make a long story short, I made it (though with a lot of help from the people behind and in front of me and not before getting my foot untangled from the rope and almost falling on my face.) So yes I did survive. But no nothing or nobody is going to get me to go in another obstacle course in the woods. No WAY. But the rest of the trip was pretty dang awesome and I'm very very glad that I went. Basically it was worth having to climb that tree...;)
Later
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Long Time
Sorry it's been such a while. Things have just been really crazy around here lately, but I've finally found some time to post.So here's what's been going on lately...
*School wise things have been EXHAUSTING. I did take a spring break last week which was awesome, but I started back this week harder than ever. Also next month I'll be missing four school days to go to my grandparents house, so I'm having to make up those four days over the next several weeks (yes, that means that on four school days I'm doing two days worth all so I can get done by May 29th. Yes I'm a workaholic). Thank goodness I've already made up two of the days, and now just two more to go. augggh I just need summer badly. My brain is starting to go fuzzy from all this algebra and talk about Abraham Lincoln...*sigh*
*Anyways, like I said earlier we're going to my grandparents house next month and I'm really really excited because 1:My aunt, uncle, and cousins will be there and we haven't seen them in a while and 2: I get to visit two colleges while I'm there. Yep I'm kind of nervous about that one. I'll probably do something really stupid or fall on my face while I'm on the tour or something and look like a complete and total idiot. But then again I might not. I'll just hope for the best I guess. haha. Then this summer I'm visiting two more colleges real close to where we live (actually one's in our hometown) so that'll be exciting too.....(but still nerve wracking).
*As to this weekend, I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing yet except Sunday night I'm going to a party at my friend's house (unless I end up driving around her confusing neighborhood completely lost as to where her house is for hours on end which could probably happen knowing me.....haha) and then I might hang out with some other friends and of course go to the exceedingly boring grocery store....*sigh* Then a week from this weekend I'm going on an in-town retreat with my friend's youth group, so I'm pretty excited about that as well. =] It's on self-control, which is good cause I could probably get quite a bit out of that....haha.
Well I guess that's it for now. Later
*School wise things have been EXHAUSTING. I did take a spring break last week which was awesome, but I started back this week harder than ever. Also next month I'll be missing four school days to go to my grandparents house, so I'm having to make up those four days over the next several weeks (yes, that means that on four school days I'm doing two days worth all so I can get done by May 29th. Yes I'm a workaholic). Thank goodness I've already made up two of the days, and now just two more to go. augggh I just need summer badly. My brain is starting to go fuzzy from all this algebra and talk about Abraham Lincoln...*sigh*
*Anyways, like I said earlier we're going to my grandparents house next month and I'm really really excited because 1:My aunt, uncle, and cousins will be there and we haven't seen them in a while and 2: I get to visit two colleges while I'm there. Yep I'm kind of nervous about that one. I'll probably do something really stupid or fall on my face while I'm on the tour or something and look like a complete and total idiot. But then again I might not. I'll just hope for the best I guess. haha. Then this summer I'm visiting two more colleges real close to where we live (actually one's in our hometown) so that'll be exciting too.....(but still nerve wracking).
*As to this weekend, I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing yet except Sunday night I'm going to a party at my friend's house (unless I end up driving around her confusing neighborhood completely lost as to where her house is for hours on end which could probably happen knowing me.....haha) and then I might hang out with some other friends and of course go to the exceedingly boring grocery store....*sigh* Then a week from this weekend I'm going on an in-town retreat with my friend's youth group, so I'm pretty excited about that as well. =] It's on self-control, which is good cause I could probably get quite a bit out of that....haha.
Well I guess that's it for now. Later
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Worn Out
After having a pretty cruddy week last week, I had a pretty good weekend to make up for it. Saturday night I went to see a musical thing at our local college, and I have to say it was very well done. Though some of the songs and lines were a bit cheesy, (as to be expected though) and though the orchestra blew my eardrums out at a few occasions, and though the place was absolutely packed and you had to be careful if you left early because you'd sure as heck trip over someone in the dark, it was quite fun and I enjoyed it. Then Sunday night I went to my friend's youth group which was really fun. And then I just spent the rest of the weekend relaxing and wishing time would stand still and Monday would never ever come....haha.
So basically I am extremely burned out on school right now, but thank heavens next week I'm getting a spring break. I only have one more day left but I know it's going to be the longest day in eternity....Maybe I'll survive. Just maybe. ;)
Well hope everyone has a great Easter. Our church has a very wierd schedule on Easter (which I've probably mentioned before) where we have a sunrise service at 7 (yes, AM) and the regular service at 9:30 AM. Don't ask me why. I don't know and I'm not brave enough to question tradition....Anyways I have to get there a 8:15 to practice handbells because we're playing in the service (though I know the songs like the back of my hand and really don't want to have to play them more than necessary) so I'm not too happy about that. But oh well. As long as I don't have to go to the sunrise service I'll be all right....;) I would appreciate prayers for our family though on Easter. As you can imagine it's going to be a hard one for us.....
Later
So basically I am extremely burned out on school right now, but thank heavens next week I'm getting a spring break. I only have one more day left but I know it's going to be the longest day in eternity....Maybe I'll survive. Just maybe. ;)
Well hope everyone has a great Easter. Our church has a very wierd schedule on Easter (which I've probably mentioned before) where we have a sunrise service at 7 (yes, AM) and the regular service at 9:30 AM. Don't ask me why. I don't know and I'm not brave enough to question tradition....Anyways I have to get there a 8:15 to practice handbells because we're playing in the service (though I know the songs like the back of my hand and really don't want to have to play them more than necessary) so I'm not too happy about that. But oh well. As long as I don't have to go to the sunrise service I'll be all right....;) I would appreciate prayers for our family though on Easter. As you can imagine it's going to be a hard one for us.....
Later
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
ANNOYED
I am pretty dang annoyed and kind of worried right now....First my grandma was supposed to have heart surgery in the next few weeks, and the doctors said they'd talk to her about it on Monday. Well they did and they said that now they don't want her to have surgery at all (they just can't seem to make up their minds). They said the surgery's too risky for someone not in the greatest condition, and that instead they want to get an MRI and then decide what to do. So now my poor grandma has to wait till whenever she can finally get in for the MRI before she can get some help. Yeah the whole situation is worrisome and is getting on my nerves. I know the doctors know more about this than I do (of course) but it still seems like they could move a little faster.....Prayers are still appreciated.
I am also annoyed cause I can't find a job to save my life. I really really really need money at the moment, but how is someone like me supposed to get money at the moment when everyone is too cheap to hire? Earlier I emailed the guy in charge of the YMCA (which is literally just around the corner from our house), and he said they weren't hiring (typically) but that I could apply to be a lifeguard or camp counselor this summer. Ha. Can you imagine me as a lifeguard? I'd be the one the regular swimmers would have to save....And nope camp counseling isn't for me either. So the Y is out. Then I went online to the site of our local grocery store and filled out another application. (I had already turned one in several months ago but they said you had to fill another one out if you hadn't been contacted in 60 days). Now I know for sure they need help in that store cause everytime my mom and I go in there we have to bag our own groceries. Now that's just pathetic. I just sure hope this works out or I'm going to blow a fuse (literally).
On top of all this I have a heck of a lot of school and I'm NOT loving it. Plus I sent away to several colleges for some more information about a week or so ago, but have I heard anything back from them? NO. Of course not. You'd think they'd want to try to actually move a little quickly and get some stuff out to prospective students in these hard economic times. But who knows......
I can't really explain the other things I'm annoyed at because there are just so many right now. Let's just say I'm not having the best of days. I'm just in one of my cynical, "I hate the world", "I'm upset cause my dad's not here" moods right now and I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for listening.
Later
I am also annoyed cause I can't find a job to save my life. I really really really need money at the moment, but how is someone like me supposed to get money at the moment when everyone is too cheap to hire? Earlier I emailed the guy in charge of the YMCA (which is literally just around the corner from our house), and he said they weren't hiring (typically) but that I could apply to be a lifeguard or camp counselor this summer. Ha. Can you imagine me as a lifeguard? I'd be the one the regular swimmers would have to save....And nope camp counseling isn't for me either. So the Y is out. Then I went online to the site of our local grocery store and filled out another application. (I had already turned one in several months ago but they said you had to fill another one out if you hadn't been contacted in 60 days). Now I know for sure they need help in that store cause everytime my mom and I go in there we have to bag our own groceries. Now that's just pathetic. I just sure hope this works out or I'm going to blow a fuse (literally).
On top of all this I have a heck of a lot of school and I'm NOT loving it. Plus I sent away to several colleges for some more information about a week or so ago, but have I heard anything back from them? NO. Of course not. You'd think they'd want to try to actually move a little quickly and get some stuff out to prospective students in these hard economic times. But who knows......
I can't really explain the other things I'm annoyed at because there are just so many right now. Let's just say I'm not having the best of days. I'm just in one of my cynical, "I hate the world", "I'm upset cause my dad's not here" moods right now and I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for listening.
Later
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Recital To End All Recitals
Okay so it really wasn't the recital to end all recitals. I just wanted to get your attention....;)
So anyways last Sunday I was absolutely determined not to be nervous. I mean what the heck it was just a recital. What would be the worst that could possibly happen? Well my throat might go dry, they might not let me use my piano music and I'd get up there, botch it up, and run crying off the stage, I might embarrass my teachers, my family, and myself for the rest of our natural lives, and they might broadcast all of this for the whole county to see on a local channel...Right what could possibly go wrong?....I tried to keep my thoughts away from this downward spiral and focus on just relaxing. I was sitting in church at the moment and desparately tried to focus only on what was going on around me (much easier said than done I'll give you that). Well as the service slowly neared to a close, my head started buzzing, my throat suddenly began to tighten up, and I started feeling rather ill to say the least. I just hoped I wasn't about to have a panic attack, because then I might end up passing out. Yep that is the last thing I would need to happen....Well I didn't pass out, and I made it out of the service unscathed.....
As we made our way to the recital a few hours later, my heart was pumping so hard I thought it would jump right out of my chest. When we got inside I felt literally downright sick. When I got backstage I was so nervous I didn't even know I was nervous (if that made any sense). As I sat down my fingers started tingling, a sure sign of nerves. I took a deep breath and attempted to get a hold of myself. For crying out loud it was just one recital. If I could make it through the others, and if all the other kids could make it through it, then I sure could.
I managed to stay pretty much relaxed while the kids before me were playing by just not thinking. And of course I tried to comfort myself by realizing that they were going to let me use my piano music. So it was just a matter of forcing my fingers to do as they were told. Well pretty soon it was my turn and I headed out there. When all the people started clapping I almost said, "You all had better save your applause cause I'm not sure you'll be feeling that way after I'm done...." I didn't say that but I was thinking it.....Well I got up there, took a deep breath, and started to play. Then the strangest thing happened. I actually relaxed. My fingers actually did what they were supposed to do. And (believe it or not) I actually started to enjoy myself up there. I was actually sad when the song ended. I think an alien inhabited my body at that point in time or something. Don't ask me why but it was pretty darn wierd.....haha. After that I was hardly nervous at all doing my voice piece (it's always much easier for me to sing in public than to play piano) and it went great too. So there you have it. Me getting all nervous for absolutely nothing. Oh well. Even though it went well all I have to say is THANK GOODNESS IT'S OVER
Later
So anyways last Sunday I was absolutely determined not to be nervous. I mean what the heck it was just a recital. What would be the worst that could possibly happen? Well my throat might go dry, they might not let me use my piano music and I'd get up there, botch it up, and run crying off the stage, I might embarrass my teachers, my family, and myself for the rest of our natural lives, and they might broadcast all of this for the whole county to see on a local channel...Right what could possibly go wrong?....I tried to keep my thoughts away from this downward spiral and focus on just relaxing. I was sitting in church at the moment and desparately tried to focus only on what was going on around me (much easier said than done I'll give you that). Well as the service slowly neared to a close, my head started buzzing, my throat suddenly began to tighten up, and I started feeling rather ill to say the least. I just hoped I wasn't about to have a panic attack, because then I might end up passing out. Yep that is the last thing I would need to happen....Well I didn't pass out, and I made it out of the service unscathed.....
As we made our way to the recital a few hours later, my heart was pumping so hard I thought it would jump right out of my chest. When we got inside I felt literally downright sick. When I got backstage I was so nervous I didn't even know I was nervous (if that made any sense). As I sat down my fingers started tingling, a sure sign of nerves. I took a deep breath and attempted to get a hold of myself. For crying out loud it was just one recital. If I could make it through the others, and if all the other kids could make it through it, then I sure could.
I managed to stay pretty much relaxed while the kids before me were playing by just not thinking. And of course I tried to comfort myself by realizing that they were going to let me use my piano music. So it was just a matter of forcing my fingers to do as they were told. Well pretty soon it was my turn and I headed out there. When all the people started clapping I almost said, "You all had better save your applause cause I'm not sure you'll be feeling that way after I'm done...." I didn't say that but I was thinking it.....Well I got up there, took a deep breath, and started to play. Then the strangest thing happened. I actually relaxed. My fingers actually did what they were supposed to do. And (believe it or not) I actually started to enjoy myself up there. I was actually sad when the song ended. I think an alien inhabited my body at that point in time or something. Don't ask me why but it was pretty darn wierd.....haha. After that I was hardly nervous at all doing my voice piece (it's always much easier for me to sing in public than to play piano) and it went great too. So there you have it. Me getting all nervous for absolutely nothing. Oh well. Even though it went well all I have to say is THANK GOODNESS IT'S OVER
Later
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Disappointing
So I was not real happy because my grandparents weren't able to come today at the last minute because my grandma got sick. Apparently she was very dizzy, throwing up, all that kind of junk. Also this sickness is supposedly attributed to her heart problem, which is getting kind of worrisome. The doctors said she will definitely need to have surgery, and the only question is when she will have it. We're hoping to go up there when does have her surgery, (which will probably be in the next few weeks) just to give them a hand since she won't be having the surgery in the city where they live. She'll probably have it in a city about 7 hours away from where they live, which means we'll have to drive 6 hours to where they live, and then drive 7 more hours to the other city with my grandparents. Yes it's not going to be too fun. It's going to be cramped, I'm going to be grouchy trapped in a car between my brothers and then further more trapped in a hotel room with them for who knows how long, and it's just not going to be too fun. But hey it's all worth it seeing as how we want to do all we can for my grandma....Prayers for all this would be GREATLY appreciated.
Well not much else to say except that that recital is tomorrow. All I have to say about that is OH JOY. (Can you hear my voice dripping with sarcasm?)
Later.
Well not much else to say except that that recital is tomorrow. All I have to say about that is OH JOY. (Can you hear my voice dripping with sarcasm?)
Later.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Random Stuff
Just a few things that have been going on....
*Last night I got to go with my friend to her youth group, so that was pretty fun. The group is really small, (there were only 6 of us there though I think the normal group is a little bigger) but I didn't mind that at all because I really can't stand large youth groups. Okay so I've never really been in what you would call a large youth group, but I have run into them at summer camp and all those places...So yeah I enjoyed it. It's nice to get a different experience every now and then...
*I will be spending this entire week acting like a maniac because I have a big piano/voice recital on Sunday afternoon. I must say that at this point in time I am trying my best not to be nervous about it, but I know that once Sunday rolls around I'll be sweating and carrying on like the apocalypse is around the corner. All I can say is they better let me use my music for my piano piece. I can remember my voice piece fine but I sure can't (not in a million years) remember my piano one in front of any kind of audience whatsoever. There is no way that I'm gonna get up there and publicly humiliate myself for the rest of my days all because some strict over-the-top piano teachers decided to put their heads together and decide how to best ruin my life.....haha Okay I'm definitely exaggerating here. I'm just a little stressed. I'm sure I'll get to use my music seeing as how I did last year. I don't even want to think what might happen if they don't let me use it.....haha
*I would appreciate it if you could keep your grandma in your prayers. She's been having heart problems lately, and in two weeks she's going to find out whether she'll have to have heart surgery or not. She's also been feeling kind of bad. They're planning on trying to come to see us Saturday, but if she's feeling too bad they won't be able to make it....So yeah this is all stressing us out a bit so prayers would be really great....
Later....
*Last night I got to go with my friend to her youth group, so that was pretty fun. The group is really small, (there were only 6 of us there though I think the normal group is a little bigger) but I didn't mind that at all because I really can't stand large youth groups. Okay so I've never really been in what you would call a large youth group, but I have run into them at summer camp and all those places...So yeah I enjoyed it. It's nice to get a different experience every now and then...
*I will be spending this entire week acting like a maniac because I have a big piano/voice recital on Sunday afternoon. I must say that at this point in time I am trying my best not to be nervous about it, but I know that once Sunday rolls around I'll be sweating and carrying on like the apocalypse is around the corner. All I can say is they better let me use my music for my piano piece. I can remember my voice piece fine but I sure can't (not in a million years) remember my piano one in front of any kind of audience whatsoever. There is no way that I'm gonna get up there and publicly humiliate myself for the rest of my days all because some strict over-the-top piano teachers decided to put their heads together and decide how to best ruin my life.....haha Okay I'm definitely exaggerating here. I'm just a little stressed. I'm sure I'll get to use my music seeing as how I did last year. I don't even want to think what might happen if they don't let me use it.....haha
*I would appreciate it if you could keep your grandma in your prayers. She's been having heart problems lately, and in two weeks she's going to find out whether she'll have to have heart surgery or not. She's also been feeling kind of bad. They're planning on trying to come to see us Saturday, but if she's feeling too bad they won't be able to make it....So yeah this is all stressing us out a bit so prayers would be really great....
Later....
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Grief
Grief is unpredictable, hurts like crap, and can never be understood by anyone who hasn’t gone through it.
Grief isn’t just being sad and crying till you can’t cry anymore (though that’s definitely been me before). It’s also anger, moodiness, and so much more. Sometimes I get so angry I just want to scream. It’s not fair. It’s not fair other kids’ dads get to see them grow up, go to college, get married, get a job. My dad won’t even be there to see me graduate.
Grief makes me angry at people for no apparent reason. Maybe I’m just angry because their lives are so much better than mine at the moment. Maybe I’m just angry because lots of people don’t seem to care anymore. Maybe I’m just angry for the sake of being angry. I really don’t know. All I know is I’m never really angry at them because they didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just me getting my anger out.
Sometimes I get so depressed I don’t even want to get up in the morning. And then some days I’ll be going along just fine. It’s completely unpredictable. And no. It hasn’t gotten easier over a three ½ month period. It’s just gotten worse. So much worse. Reality finally starts to sink in. It makes me sick sometimes just to think about it.
I’m so much more stressed now. Just about little things. I have this foreboding feeling that everything’s going to go wrong. That nothing can ever go right again. Even though I know it’s not true.....
Going to church is hard. Really hard. Sometimes I’ll be okay. I’ll be able to sit there and not think about what’s really happening. That it’s some other guy preaching up there and not my dad. And some days it just kills me. Especially when they start talking about getting a new pastor. It hasn’t happened much, but when it does I just want to run out of the room and scream, "This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening." I love all those people at church so much. But it’s impossible for me to ever go there again and feel peace. Not with my dad not there....
Sometimes I wish people wouldn’t be so afraid to talk to me about this stuff. It’s not like I want them to treat me differently. Not at all. I just want to be treated normal. But I just want people to know that it’s okay if you want to ask me how I’m holding up. You don’t have to act like none of this ever happened. If I don’t want to talk about it, then I’ll tell you. Thankfully I’ve been blessed with several friends who I can talk to about all of this. You don’t know how much you all are appreciated....I’ve really discovered through all of this that true friends are the ones who will always be there to talk to you no matter what. While I'm on the subject of friends I just wanted to say thanks to my wonderful friend Hannah R. (who is also my faithful blog reader). Love you girl and thanks for always being there...=]
No, I promise I’m not some kind of phsycho depressed freak. Of course I’m not sad and angry all the time. I just needed to get some stuff off my chest though. So yeah thanks for listening and putting up with me...
Grief isn’t just being sad and crying till you can’t cry anymore (though that’s definitely been me before). It’s also anger, moodiness, and so much more. Sometimes I get so angry I just want to scream. It’s not fair. It’s not fair other kids’ dads get to see them grow up, go to college, get married, get a job. My dad won’t even be there to see me graduate.
Grief makes me angry at people for no apparent reason. Maybe I’m just angry because their lives are so much better than mine at the moment. Maybe I’m just angry because lots of people don’t seem to care anymore. Maybe I’m just angry for the sake of being angry. I really don’t know. All I know is I’m never really angry at them because they didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just me getting my anger out.
Sometimes I get so depressed I don’t even want to get up in the morning. And then some days I’ll be going along just fine. It’s completely unpredictable. And no. It hasn’t gotten easier over a three ½ month period. It’s just gotten worse. So much worse. Reality finally starts to sink in. It makes me sick sometimes just to think about it.
I’m so much more stressed now. Just about little things. I have this foreboding feeling that everything’s going to go wrong. That nothing can ever go right again. Even though I know it’s not true.....
Going to church is hard. Really hard. Sometimes I’ll be okay. I’ll be able to sit there and not think about what’s really happening. That it’s some other guy preaching up there and not my dad. And some days it just kills me. Especially when they start talking about getting a new pastor. It hasn’t happened much, but when it does I just want to run out of the room and scream, "This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening." I love all those people at church so much. But it’s impossible for me to ever go there again and feel peace. Not with my dad not there....
Sometimes I wish people wouldn’t be so afraid to talk to me about this stuff. It’s not like I want them to treat me differently. Not at all. I just want to be treated normal. But I just want people to know that it’s okay if you want to ask me how I’m holding up. You don’t have to act like none of this ever happened. If I don’t want to talk about it, then I’ll tell you. Thankfully I’ve been blessed with several friends who I can talk to about all of this. You don’t know how much you all are appreciated....I’ve really discovered through all of this that true friends are the ones who will always be there to talk to you no matter what. While I'm on the subject of friends I just wanted to say thanks to my wonderful friend Hannah R. (who is also my faithful blog reader). Love you girl and thanks for always being there...=]
No, I promise I’m not some kind of phsycho depressed freak. Of course I’m not sad and angry all the time. I just needed to get some stuff off my chest though. So yeah thanks for listening and putting up with me...
Monday, March 9, 2009
Piano Festival
Well last Saturday I had another piano festival (I know you're probably getting tired of hearing about these....). Since the other two festivals I was so nervous I thought I was either going to puke or pass out, I decided for the benefit of my own sanity and those around me I would try not to be nervous this year. I mean heck. It was just one woman (or judge) who was going to critique. Big deal. I'd done harder things. I had the piece (a hymn arrangement) memorized like the back of my hand. I had this.
As I sat in the auditorium waiting for my turn, I managed to push all my nerves away and keep remembering that in a matter of minutes it would all be over. Even when she called my name I still managed to walk up there in a state of relative calm. The woman seemed nice after all. Not like that first judge I had....I handed her my music so she could look at it and sat down to play. It was then that my poor nerves finally hit. My hands started shaking so bad that the first measure came out garbled. Beads of sweat broke out on my neck. I started again, this time managing to play well. Well until about the 3rd line....It was then I had the total mind block. Every single note I'd worked so hard to memorize left my head and floated off over the horizon....I didn't understand why, but I knew one thing. I had to act fast. I had to act like it wasn't that big a deal.....I cleared my throat rather nervously and said, "I'm really sorry but I completely forgot the song."
The lady looked up, smiled, and said, "Oh that's fine. I wouldn't have expected you to memorize this long hymn arrangement anyway." I was so relieved I almost cried. Once I had my music I managed to relax and did pretty good. Even though it was extremely embarrassing that I had forgotten the piece (for some reason my nerves are connected with my memory) at least I had done it fine with my music. Heck it's not like I'm planning to be a professional piano player or something.....But anyways I'm quite glad that's over. Now all I have left is a recital in about two weeks in which I have to play and sing. Let's just hope I can use my music.....hahaha
As I sat in the auditorium waiting for my turn, I managed to push all my nerves away and keep remembering that in a matter of minutes it would all be over. Even when she called my name I still managed to walk up there in a state of relative calm. The woman seemed nice after all. Not like that first judge I had....I handed her my music so she could look at it and sat down to play. It was then that my poor nerves finally hit. My hands started shaking so bad that the first measure came out garbled. Beads of sweat broke out on my neck. I started again, this time managing to play well. Well until about the 3rd line....It was then I had the total mind block. Every single note I'd worked so hard to memorize left my head and floated off over the horizon....I didn't understand why, but I knew one thing. I had to act fast. I had to act like it wasn't that big a deal.....I cleared my throat rather nervously and said, "I'm really sorry but I completely forgot the song."
The lady looked up, smiled, and said, "Oh that's fine. I wouldn't have expected you to memorize this long hymn arrangement anyway." I was so relieved I almost cried. Once I had my music I managed to relax and did pretty good. Even though it was extremely embarrassing that I had forgotten the piece (for some reason my nerves are connected with my memory) at least I had done it fine with my music. Heck it's not like I'm planning to be a professional piano player or something.....But anyways I'm quite glad that's over. Now all I have left is a recital in about two weeks in which I have to play and sing. Let's just hope I can use my music.....hahaha
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Bell Festival
Last weekend I went on a handbell festival with my church. When it comes to handbell festivals they can either be a new invigorating experience, or a total nightmare depending on your attitude....haha just kidding. I had a good time though it was extremely tiring. It was also tempting. You see for the past week I've been trying to avoid all sugar. No, I don't have some horrible disease that restricts me from eating sugar. I just feel that it'll benefit my overall health if I avoid it. Well it's a good thing that I was determined to avoid it because it seemed like sugar was jumping in my face just daring me to eat it the whole trip. When we first got there we ate at Fudrucker's, and I ended up getting some chicken strips (they looked safe enough). So while I was sitting there eating my chicken strips everybody else was drinking these huge milkshakes right in my face. I managed to suck it up and ignore it though. After all, those milkshakes were expensive. Why waste money on crap like that?
It just got harder from there. While we were in rehearsal our director decided to pass out free chocolate candies to everyone. He thought he was being nice. Not to me he wasn't....This was even more tempting than the milkshake because it was absolutely free. I was also absolutely sugar starved cause I hadn't had any for almost a week. Things got worse from there when the people on either side of me opened their candy and started eating them. The delicious chocolate fumes wafted over and hit me full force in the face. I almost started to cry...Somehow or another I managed not to eat them (though it took a lot of brunt force on my part to say the least). I was already in a crabby mood anyhow. Not that I normally didn't enjoy myself playing bells, but after playing 2 1/2 hours straight I was about ready to punch the next person who dared to mention handbell playing.
Anyways, if you're wondering what the bell festival is here's what happens in it. A whole bunch of church handbell choirs get together in this large conference center and play bells (yes, all at the same time). We practice our heads off for hours, then we have a performance and like 2 people come to watch. (Okay more than that but not many more). So as you can imagine I was a little annoyed at having to work so hard for well, not that much.....Oh well. It was still pretty fun though. However, once we had played the last note of the performance, I almost started to sing the Hallejuah Chorus and I vowed never to touch another handbell as long as I lived (I said that last year by the way). If you're wondering what happens after the festival ends, here's what happens; pandemonium. Everybody starts packing up at once. Folders fly everywhere, bells are tossed back and forth (it's a wonder somebody doesn't get knocked out by one of them), people get in each other's way, which results in nobody getting anything done very quickly, etc. etc. The annoying thing was, our director insisted that he and two other people could pack up all the stuff alone. (I can see why he said that. It's chaotic if everybody tries to help at once). The trouble was the people I was riding home with insisted on helping him anyways. I felt like yelling, "Come on people. If the man doesn't want any help then for heaven's sake don't give him any!". But I didn't yell that. I just stood there fuming with frustration because I really desparately wanted to get home because I was sleep deprived, sugar deprived, and CRANKY.
Well, we finally got everybody back on the van and headed home. Another bell festival come and gone, and I can't say I'm sad about that fact. Don't get me wrong. I had quite a good time. But hey, bell festivals aren't exactly what I call highlight of the year material.....haha
Later
It just got harder from there. While we were in rehearsal our director decided to pass out free chocolate candies to everyone. He thought he was being nice. Not to me he wasn't....This was even more tempting than the milkshake because it was absolutely free. I was also absolutely sugar starved cause I hadn't had any for almost a week. Things got worse from there when the people on either side of me opened their candy and started eating them. The delicious chocolate fumes wafted over and hit me full force in the face. I almost started to cry...Somehow or another I managed not to eat them (though it took a lot of brunt force on my part to say the least). I was already in a crabby mood anyhow. Not that I normally didn't enjoy myself playing bells, but after playing 2 1/2 hours straight I was about ready to punch the next person who dared to mention handbell playing.
Anyways, if you're wondering what the bell festival is here's what happens in it. A whole bunch of church handbell choirs get together in this large conference center and play bells (yes, all at the same time). We practice our heads off for hours, then we have a performance and like 2 people come to watch. (Okay more than that but not many more). So as you can imagine I was a little annoyed at having to work so hard for well, not that much.....Oh well. It was still pretty fun though. However, once we had played the last note of the performance, I almost started to sing the Hallejuah Chorus and I vowed never to touch another handbell as long as I lived (I said that last year by the way). If you're wondering what happens after the festival ends, here's what happens; pandemonium. Everybody starts packing up at once. Folders fly everywhere, bells are tossed back and forth (it's a wonder somebody doesn't get knocked out by one of them), people get in each other's way, which results in nobody getting anything done very quickly, etc. etc. The annoying thing was, our director insisted that he and two other people could pack up all the stuff alone. (I can see why he said that. It's chaotic if everybody tries to help at once). The trouble was the people I was riding home with insisted on helping him anyways. I felt like yelling, "Come on people. If the man doesn't want any help then for heaven's sake don't give him any!". But I didn't yell that. I just stood there fuming with frustration because I really desparately wanted to get home because I was sleep deprived, sugar deprived, and CRANKY.
Well, we finally got everybody back on the van and headed home. Another bell festival come and gone, and I can't say I'm sad about that fact. Don't get me wrong. I had quite a good time. But hey, bell festivals aren't exactly what I call highlight of the year material.....haha
Later
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